What a nice Mother’s Day card, Russ. Dad printed it and took it home so Mom could read it, right?

Mom did do a terrific job. And I think if I weren’t her daughter, I might see her as one of those model mothers that makes the other moms feel guilty. But our children know the worst about us — they see all our weaknesses on a daily basis. So I think it’s marvelous when a child can forgive his/her parents for their faults and focus instead on being grateful for their strengths and efforts, as you have done. I hope mine can do the same someday.

I hope I have a kid who turns out like you, Russ! (No, not one who is like you were, growing up… ha ha)

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I think annegb is right, mothood by desperation. Rusty’s mom tried desperately to be a good mother, she did a fantastic job, in spite of me and her children…she was great, and we love her for it.

I tell you, every few days or so, I will be hit by the hardest feeling of guilt and remorse over James begging me to buy him Wranglers when he was in the 7th grade. Which I immediately did, thinking my son was a little nutso. They were perfectly good, brand new jeans, those toughskins.

And the last 14 years, I’ve thought, “why didn’t I see I was damaging him for those 7 1/2 years (age 5-12) till he broke under the pressure and told me he had to wear a different brand? What if?”

I’m going to tell you all that stuff and you tell me if your mother did it, and I will feel not so bad because it didn’t make you kill yourself, okay?

These are the things that just torture me. And I’m not joking, I’m serious.

I think I’m in the anger phase of mourning after 14 years. “Rusty had to wear toughskins and he didn’t shoot himself! You big stupid!”