Later on when I was a teenager we had my other sister and her three kids, one of whom was a truly troubled kid of 6-7. I think he was angry and felt abandoned by their father or something, but he was a terror. That situation sucked for everyone, but my sister needed help to get on her feet after her divorce and my parents helped the only way they could.

As much as I hated those very long stretches of sharing “my” house, I’m really glad that my parents were willing to help their kids out because 1) it helped my sisters, whom I love and 2) it was a great example of charity.

Probably the worst experience my parents had with people living with them just happened over the past few years. My ex-brother-in-law called up and said that he had had enough of my nephew, who was a teenager into drugs and in trouble with the law. My sister, his mother, was a truck driver and couldn’t settle down in one place, so my mom and Parkinson’s-stricken dad, who were finally empty nesters and getting a break from raising thirteen kids, took the kid in. It didn’t take long for him to make friends with the bad kids and get into drugs and in trouble. He stole my parents car, for which they reported him, and had to do time in juvenile detention. Then they let him stay with them again. The last straw was when my mom discovered that he was trying to make meth in the basement. That’s when they finally kicked him out for good.

I had hope for the kid, and my parents did too. It was amazing what they were willing to put up with in order to give him a chance. But he was an idiot (and I really think he’s suffered brain injury from drugs) and refused to take the opportunity to put his life on track. I think you always wonder if you could do more. cj douglass is probably a testament that you shouldn’t give up too early. But I don’t know that you have to keep on supporting kids if by doing so you enable them in their screwing up.

From what I hear my nephew is actually holding a couple of jobs and may be doing alright. Maybe being faced with sink or swim, kids are more likely to finally put their heads on straight. Sometimes they sink, though.

i moved out when i was 16. i had graduated from high school, was emancipated from my parents, and was on my own. i harbor some resentment over all of it. on the flip side, my husband has some family members who have made horrific choices and are constantly welcomed back home despite their actions. as an example, one refuses to keep a job, uses drugs, abuses alcohol, is foul-mouthed and rude and yet he is fully supported, taken on vacations, and so on. i can’t wrap my head around it. my husband says he understands, that keeping your child close to you, regardless of age or circumstance, is sometimes the only way you can protect them.

interestingly, my husband feels that you’re on your own once you’re 18 and graduated whereas i think you can stay as long as is feasible so long as you are being a productive citizen and a good kid.

D&C 123: 13
Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the bhidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven—

It does sound a little off but I love the scripture.