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Nine Moons : Rusty » Rusty

Top 5 Best Ways To Ignore Posts

Rusty - June 1, 2010

1) Don’t click on them.

Sorry, that’s all I’ve got. I had “2) don’t push the mouse button when the arrow is hovering above the link that would lead to a post you don’t want to read,” but figured that’s kind of the same thing. I also considered “3) If there is a title of a post that looks like its contents will not be something you are interested in, don’t read it,” which, again, is a little redundant.

Considering the above, I guess my title is a bit deceiving. Sorry. But that leads me to mention the entirely plausible scenario in which you find yourself erroneously reading a post you were fooled into clicking, something like, let’s say a post about Banner of Heaven. What should you do then? Stop reading. Seriously, reading histories of controversies is just too controversial. Besides, you didn’t mean to click on it anyway.

I Stunk It Up Today

Rusty - May 16, 2010

Today I was assigned to speak in the Sacrament Meeting in one of the Spanish wards in our stake. I stunk it up. Badly. Like, my baby’s diapers level of stink. I’d like to use the excuse that it’s been 12 years since I’ve spoken to a large group of people in Spanish, but that’s not true. It’s my second time, my first being a few months ago at the Spanish branch in Staten Island, which went pretty well, considering. But today? Unbelievably bad. (more…)

Rating My Companions

Rusty - April 29, 2010

Zirker: 5
Area: MTC
Months together: 2
Distinct memory: Reprimanding me, as my district leader, for farting in the middle of our roommates companionship prayer (long, hilarious story that deserves a separate post)
Other thoughts: He was my first companion and this was the MTC. We were all trying to adjust and it just sucks. He was actually a really nice guy, but super strict and we had absolutely nothing in common and had nothing to talk about. My room/classmates were my saving grace.

Callison (trainer): 7
Area: San Sebastian, Reu (coast)
Months together: 3
Distinct memory: Always said, “Lo que sucede…”
Other thoughts: Helped me get my feet on the Guatemalan ground and provided a base for how I would do missionary work the rest of my mission. Great guy but homeboy was trunky, he was always asking about the States, movies, girls (his girlfriend waited for and later married him). This sucked for me because I was always trying to forget the states and my girlfriend.

Wahlstrom: 9
Area: San Sebastian, Reu (coast)
Months together: 3
Distinct memory: Being chased by a drunk man with a machete (and Wahlstrom squealing like a little girl) (more…)

Nine Moons Resurrection

Rusty - April 21, 2010

We’re back!

After a month or two in blog purgatory (that sweet combination of host/server problems and a clueless blog administrator with no time to deal with it) we have emerged from the tomb and are alive…ALIVE!!!! Sadly, even within this last week a couple of my permas contacted me notifying me that the blog is down. In other words, it’s like James saying to Peter on the third day, “Hey Pete, I haven’t seen Jesus for a couple days, you think something might have happened to him?” No, it’s not like that. It IS that!

Anyhoo, so we lost a few months of archives (**wipes forehead** grateful we haven’t written anything in the past few months…) and are completely out of practice, but the machine is running again and ready for you to pay attention to us. And if you’re wondering, “Who the hell is Nine Moons?” my answer to you is, “No one important, junior. No one important.”

My Tic

Rusty - September 17, 2009

Some people have to crack their knuckles. Others need to rotate their glass before they drink. My close friend always counts stairs. David Sedaris licked mailboxes.

My tic? I step over imaginary lines.

No, not the sidewalk cracks that so many people avoid (seriously, only a lunatic would do that). What I’m talking about are the diagonal lines created by the square patch in which the tree lives (see illustration below): (more…)

It’s Not My Default

Rusty - September 2, 2009

The other day I was having some software problems with my iPhone and had to restore it to its factory settings. The phone had been highly customized (as are most cell phones with contacts, photos, rings, etc.) which were all whisked away at the click of my mouse. For a moment my phone was back to its original earth photo, Apple ringtone and single page of apps. This was ideal because I was then able to customize again according to my particular needs.

Last week I participated in a thread over at FMH in which the post argued that bishops have no place asking women about the Law of Chastity. Naturally there was discussion about patriarchy’s dominance of female sexuality and dozens of examples of creepy/inappropriate bishops/stake presidents. I have no interest in re-hashing that discussion over here, but at one point it occurred to me that we were mostly speaking past each other because we have different church default settings. And by default setting I don’t mean testimony or universal truths, rather it is more a matter of the basic common ground upon which we are having a discussion. If we can wipe away our cultural bias and anecdotal evidence, or wipe our contact list, photos and ringtones, if you will, what is our default setting on a certain issue? (more…)

When Friends Leave

Rusty - August 24, 2009

Living in Park Slope, Brooklyn comes with many perks: Prospect Park; living in the city but not of the city; amazing brownstone architecture; close-knit community; access to wondrous cheeses; diversity; the prodigious Park Slope Ward; summer concert series in the park; the pervading family culture; best restaurants ever; etc. But more than anything else here it is our friends we love the most.

Our first place in Brooklyn was an enormous 1,000 sq./ft. loft in the industrial, non-residential section of Sunset Park (romantic and Brooklyn-y, right?). Well, the romance faded within a week after our third 4:00AM wakeup to men brawling and cops breaking them up across the street at the Sweet Cherry (if you’re thinking pie shop, you’re way off). That third night, when guys were banging a bat on the door to the fine entertainment establishment, was when Sara decided enough was enough. Though, now that I think about it, her decision was probably made a couple days earlier when the bus driver that picked her up tried to actually “pick her up” by mentioning the heat her thighs were giving off. Or something. (more…)

5 Years, 9 Moons

Rusty - July 14, 2009

It was 5 years ago this month that I discovered the Bloggernacle and started Nine Moons. I began writing a long post meandering through this blog’s history but fell asleep thinking about it so instead I am going to only say two things:

1) Yay us! We made it 5 years without going inactive, being exposed as a fake blog, fading away, storming off in a huff, selling out to The Man (BCC/T&S), being shut down by Salt Lake, losing our URL, or becoming a member of the DAMU. If that’s not a smashing success then I don’t know what is.

2) The rest of this month will be filled with more posts by me and my fellow permabloggers and other Bloggernaclites posting on the number 5. And no, they’re not going to just be a bunch of Top 5 lists. Unless they are. I don’t know.

Fool-proof Proof of God

Rusty - June 22, 2009

To witness what event would have the greatest capacity to convince an atheist of the existence of God? Why?

My inclination is the think either the Resurrection or the First Vision, but I can’t decide which of them would be more convincing. The Resurrection has the tangible evidence of Christ’s un-dead body, but lacks a provable connection to God. The First Vision is compelling as an event, but could easily be chalked up to self-delusion, also lacking in tangible evidence when it’s over.

Am I missing a more obvious event?

I Littered On My Mission

Rusty - June 18, 2009

As they say, when in Guatemala, do as the Guatemalans do…

I also: (more…)

The Ethical Implications of Gambling as a Time Traveler

Rusty - May 8, 2009

The latest episode of Lost raises an interesting ethical question for time travelers who gamble. Upon entering the submarine to go back to the mainland in 1977 Sawyer suggests that he and Juliet would buy Microsoft stock and bet on the Cowboys in the Super Bowl. They were from the year 2007 so they knew the outcomes of those “gambles” (as did Biff know the outcome of sporting events in Back to the Future II). As long as they were sure that their betting on those events wouldn’t alter the events themselves, they could be sure to profit substantially from their bet. Removing risk. One of time traveling’s biggest perks. (more…)

Questionable Question Series: Round 1

Rusty - May 5, 2009

Do pro-choice vegans eat eggs?

This is a companion series to the “Awkward Question” series found here, here and here.

20/80

Rusty - May 1, 2009

[poll id="9"]
[poll id="10"]

We Deeply Need an ASRMCSFAS (Awesome Self-Righteous Multi-Commented Snark-Fest Alert System)

Rusty - April 30, 2009

A few days ago when Kevin posted this post about undocumented missionaries I was initially intrigued, read all the comments (15 or so at the time) and then promptly forgot about it. Tragic situation, thoughtful post, comments expected to wind down after about 35 or so. End of story, move on. (more…)

Glimpses of Eternity

Rusty - April 19, 2009

I would bet that if you asked a hundred Mormons to describe eternity you would get a hundred different depictions (even if that group included Joseph Smith and Thomas S. Monson). And if you asked me seven days in a row I would likely give you seven different versions. And I’m okay with that.

This last Saturday was as close as I’m going to get to one of those versions (version #WC41809 to be exact). Look at all the similarities: (more…)

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