Note, though, that I was not criticizing what was done by the bishop in this case, since i know nothing about that. I was only criticizing the school’s actions. And there is really nothing to forgive, since I dont consider BYU has offended me.

New topic tomorrow I hope!

Once it became general knowledge that this young man broke the code ,there was no other option

That is a flat lie, marv. No one knew about the code violation until BYU announced this suspension. They could have handled it in-house, with sanctions that were not public. They haven’t suspended him from school. Why? Because they absolutely do have a choice in how they handle these things. They have options. Saying otherwise is just false. Period.

The rest of your comment is just a rehash of things that everyone knows and agrees with. I’m glad you think all your kids are living great lives, but don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. there are a lot of strict parents who had kids who rebelled a lot more than yours. It’s not because they weren’t strict enough.

This discussion is not about whether BYU is too strict in it’s honor code. No one is suggesting they trash the code and become hippies. Your recitation of the code and praise for its precepts is irrelevant to this discussion.

The question is whether BYU’s “swift action” was the correct swift action or whether there were other swift actions availbale to them that would have been better. Why can’t you discuss that question, marv? Why do you keep talking all around it and never talk about the question we are actually discussing? Because you’d rather just spout easy platitudes and brag about your parenting skills, I guess.

The school has what to the rest of the academic world is a strict and perhaps old-fashioned honor code. Among its tenets: Be honest, live a chaste and virtuous life, use clean language, participate regularly in church services, observe dress and grooming standards (no beards or ear rings for men, no “form-fitting” clothing or more than one ear piercing for women), and abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse.

In order to remain “chaste and virtuous,” one must not engage in premarital sex. Students have to sign the honor code every year.

While most sports commentators say they can’t imagine themselves (or most people, especially athletes) operating under such rules of behavior, BYU’s swift action in the face of an admitted violation has caused many to reexamine general sports behavior by comparison.

I’m sure the BYU player in this case knew he was violating the honor code, but there is a difference between the honor code and criminal statutes. The honor code doesn’t give you the consequences of violation. Obviously, some violators are never caught, but beyond that, even those who are caught or who turn themselves in have a very wide range of outcomes, so you can never be sure that two people who commit the same violation are treated at all alike.

In addition to that, there are some outcomes that are out of BYU’s control and result from the specific circumstances. In the present case, the fact that the basketball team relied heavily on this player was not in any one’s control, nor was the fact that the team was ranked #3 in the country.

But what might have been anticipated was the level of media scrutiny that those facts would cause, when combined with a suspension of this athlete. Given the anticipated level of scrutiny, might there have been a better way to handle this situation?

Here’s an example: the player wasn’t immediately suspended from school. Why? If there’s some flexibility on academic suspension, why can’t there be flexibility on athletic suspension, especially in light of this particular situation?

Keeping the player on the team and handling the matter as a religious/spiritual matter that required religious/spiritual penalties, rather than athletic ones (there have been no academic ones so far) would have preserved the athlete’s (and his girlfriend’s) privacy and allowed a team to not be penalized for one player’s off-court mistake. Better all around.

You say the player must accept the consequences of his actions. I agree. The problem is that the consequences are not well known ahead of time or evenly enforced after the fact.

For example: Is every athlete who has sex at BYU kicked off their athletic team? Are they all suspended from schoool? Expelled? Disfellowshipped? Excommunicated? Lose their scholarships? Get their names dragged through the national press?

Some of the consequences are within the control of BYU and some are not, but none are explained in the honor code as being certain to occur upon particular violations. That being the case, how is a person to know what consequences are going to be the result of his actions in this situation?

We can all agree that this player made a foolish choice, but I doubt when he made the choice that he had any idea of the consequences he would face. Does that excuse him? No. But maybe it should elicit more of a nuanced response from us than “he made his bed, now he has to lie in it.”

It’s been acknowledged by practically everyone that BYU has received a ton of support from almost every news source in the country, some surprisingly so. See comment #92 above for evidence of this. You and your daughter are the only persons I have heard yet who have complained that BYU is being in any way villified. You’re entitled to your opinion of course, as is your daughter, but please be aware that it is a minority opinion at best.

Finally, please don’t accuse me of being backed into a corner, or of having a small mind, just because I accurately characterize your daughter’s prose as “grammatically challenged.” Not all criticism is an attack, marv. Although some small minds find it hard to remember that.