She believes in Christ and was baptized. Therefore, she is an heir to the Kingdom of Heaven. Pride prevents people from welcoming her as one of their own.

1) I have a friend who I regularly communicate with and I adore them. I ask how Church is going for them and they either don’t answer or change the subject. I suspect they aren;t attending anymore. What hurts me more then that is that they might be thinking I will reject them if they talk about it, like they can’t confide in me their problems or issues as to why they aren’t going. I wish SO MUCH they would just talk to me.

2) Recently our ward had some people quit, which is their choice. Rather then leave quietly and move on with their life they decided to attack members on a social media site. It has almost gotten to the point of harrasment. Like if the Church isn’t for you then don’t come, but just stop the vitriol and the childish behaviours, my word!

1. Our treatment of those that leave has to be counted as one of the 7 deadly Mormon sins that we are all (to some degree) in need of some redemption from. I’ve had my fair share of judgmental behavior and have been trying to change.

2. Its such a problem, that I’ve had a couple good friends leave and assume that I would cut ties. It offended me at first (don’t they know me!?) but realize its understandable when you see it happen to others.

3. Especially in areas with few Mormons, the ward/branch community can be incredibly close-knit and supportive. Feelings of betrayal are understandable (not excusable) when someone leaves the tribe.

4. Also, in defense of the accused, as many verses from Jesus telling us to love our neighbor (and enemy!), there are as many versus that support ostracization.(wheat and tares? sheep and goats?) Now, I love Jesus and believe his central theme is love, but let’s be careful when we throw out the “obviously, Jesus taught…” line. A compilation of all that Jesus taught is much more complicated than that.

It hurt worse than anything I had previously experienced. I wish I could say that I handled it perfectly but I didn’t. We spent several months debating principles and doctrines. There were a few instances where we raised our voices to one another – not out of control, but we both knew that the other one wasn’t happy. It took me awhile to learn how to deal with this new reality. And now our relationship seems to be doing much better.

I can honestly say that I have never stopped loving him. I have always supported his right to make certain choices. And most of the LDS I know who have gone through similar situations have reacted in a similar way.

If your mother and father called you up one day and announced that they were divorcing would you feel sad, maybe even betrayed? But if you were trying to follow Christ’s example would you try to rise above those visceral feelings and not let them pollute your actions toward them? Family and friends leaving the church is more like a divorce than a decision to take a new job or buy a new house. Changes with that kind of emotional impact will always create strong emotions and feelings. It is how we deal with those feelings that defines who we are.

Offer support and love for your friend, but be cautious not to judge or condemn the family while doing it.
It’s hard to understand the undercurrents in a family you are not a part of.