Comments on: I Don’t Know Why We Can’t Say “I Don’t Know.”

By: anonymousfor this

anonymousfor this — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 19:23:41 +0000

Chris, I think you were right on.

I went to my bishop as a young single mother and confessed a sin and he said “go and sin no more.” And I thought that was very wonderful of him.

I don’t think that sort of thing is rug sweeping, I think it’s wisdom. Rug sweeping would involve children and sex.

By: Chris Williams

Chris Williams — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 18:42:20 +0000

I’ll add that too many Bishop’s attempt to answer questions for which they aren’t qualified or sweep things under the rug with a “go on your way and read the scriptures and pray”.

This is true, I think. I did a lot of things wrong when I was a bishop, but one thing I was always aware of was that I was young, sort on life experience and generally didn’t know squat. So I tried to be a resource to members in need–and often that meant that I did nothing more than listen or refer them to someone far more qualified than me to help them with their problems and issues. I learned that from our stake president, who I think was very good about listening and referring rather than trying to have answers for every situation that came along.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 08:41:13 +0000

Interesting. I have heard/read that many Mormons are taught to not ask questions about their faith – instead it is suggested that they pray and the answer will make itself clear them. As a Jew, it is an interesting contrast for me, since I have grow up with the belief that questioning is good, that there is often no clear or straightforward answer, and that many times, one question will create many more.

By: Steve EM

Steve EM — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 02:02:57 +0000

I’ll add that too many Bishop’s attempt to answer questions for which they aren’t qualified or sweep things under the rug with a “go on your way and read the scriptures and pray”. It’s primarily an administrative calling and, because we members often abuse the Bishop and treat him like an employee rather than a volunteer, many Bishops get understandably overwhelmed. I’m shocked when I hear members complaining to the Bishop about the hymn book or hymn selections, or asking for advice in private matters, etc.

The difficult questions need to be shepherded up the chain to the Stake President as they have access to GA’s who can provide definitive answers. And if the member perceives that the SP is winging it too, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask that a GA’s opinion be sought.

By: Rusty

Rusty — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 01:36:43 +0000

Anon for this,
I second what Eliza Roxcy said. Being in a bishopric I know that things slip through the cracks, especially when we don’t get reminders. Sadly more often than I’d like to admit the squeaky wheel actually does get the grease (or at least you can hear it a lot more). Eliza is right that the bishop would be horrified to find out that his failure caused you anguish. Please try again with him.

Also, remember that this is your spirituality that you’re talking about, you don’t HAVE to go to your hometeachers if you don’t feel comfortable with them. Find someone you trust their perspective on the Gospel (even if it’s online) and see if they can help.

By: Eliza Roxcy

Eliza Roxcy — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 12:06:33 +0000

Anon for this– Chances are, your bishop has completely forgotten about your questions. Don’t be embarrassed or offended if this is what happened — he’d probably be horrified to realize that a failure on his part has caused you anguish. I’d go see him again, and ask if he could recommend someone in the ward you could talk to about your questions, so if he doesn’t have time, he can at least help you on your way to finding answers. (If you felt so inclined, you could write him a letter asking for help with your questions, which would mean he’d be less likely to forget about it.) You could also ask anyone else in the ward that you trust — eq pres, rs pres, ward missionaries, ss teacher, or a ward member who is simply a friend. Unfortunately, it’s usually the highly visible crises that get the most attention in a ward, while private suffering can go virtually unnoticed. You don’t need to stir up a big fuss, but if no one knows (or remembers) that you are in need, no one will help you.

By: Anon for this

Anon for this — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 08:58:24 +0000

A semi-related question… If you do have questions that you are struggling with, who do you go to? (Besides God of course) Is that the responsibility of the ward missionaries?

I went to my bishop last year but he didn’t have time to talk and hasn’t contacted me since or sent anyone to speak with me. I’ve gone about as far as I can on my own. Should I contact the ward missionaries myself or is there someone else I should be contacting for help? My hometeacher would be zero help…

I’m almost ready to just throw in the towel at this point.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 08:38:54 +0000

I think you have to be ready to say “I don’t know” more often as a teacher/missionary than any other time, unless you actually think that having someone else depending on you, personally, as a source of All Truth and Knowledge, is a good thing. Anyone who has an answer for everything, worries me — no one is that smart, at least not amongst us mortal humans. Smacks of that unrighteous dominion stuff.

By: Sam

Sam — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 06:12:20 +0000

“… we believe that the Lord will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.”

Of course we don’t know everything!

By: David J

David J — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 01:17:44 +0000

John,

If I had to pick a time to live in the ancient world, I’d pick a time when there were “dark times.” Why? Because in those times, you don’t have a big empire or kingdom taxing the crap out of its people, and if people DID come to take your stuff, you could probably wack a couple of them and not have to go to prison for it.