I try to walk this fine line with my strong willed 8 year old daughter. She is so completely different than me.
I always wonder if I am messing up. What if I am talking to her too much and not punishing enough?
I just read somewhere that when we are busy trying to give our kids what we didn’t have we sometimes neglect to give them what we did have.
I actually would love to be just like my parents. But my daughter is not like me. And it is 30 years later.
When she makes mistakes I have to wonder am I supposed to show her love because she already feels so bad for her mistakes? Or will she make more because I just talk about things instead of punishing?
She could probably spend her whole life punished. I have tried to balance it out by rewarding her for all the positive things she does, things her brother does not do. Does that even things out because she gets punished more than him?
Sure, you can wish you had punished less, but are you sure he would have been the great person he is today if you hadn’t punished? Are you sure he wouldn’t have been a little more lazy, or a little more inconsiderate, or a little less responsible?
Go ahead and remember why you punished. Why you yelled. You taught him what was not acceptable behavior.
I look at my three kids and they are all so different. And it is such a monumental task. There is no way to do it perfectly.
But I’ve got to do something!