Comments on: Isn’t It About…[Quality] Time? http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 04:57:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 By: hhh http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5974 hhh Mon, 01 Jan 2007 21:20:54 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5974 I just stumbled across this and agree wholeheartedly! An aunt-in-law (who had eight kids and always stayed home with them) once corrected me when I lamented the lack of quality time spent with my kids, who stay home with me. She echoed the sentiment that even if she was sitting in a chair, reading a book, and they were playing at her feet, it mattered. When I shared this with my mother (who worked full-time and had little time to share with us as kids), she scoffed, saying a trip to Disneyland made up for a lot of lost time. How sad. I just stumbled across this and agree wholeheartedly! An aunt-in-law (who had eight kids and always stayed home with them) once corrected me when I lamented the lack of quality time spent with my kids, who stay home with me. She echoed the sentiment that even if she was sitting in a chair, reading a book, and they were playing at her feet, it mattered. When I shared this with my mother (who worked full-time and had little time to share with us as kids), she scoffed, saying a trip to Disneyland made up for a lot of lost time. How sad.

]]> By: JKS http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5336 JKS Sat, 02 Dec 2006 05:56:55 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5336 Since I'm a SAHM I get to offer a lot of quantity time. Am I reading and playing games with my kids all day long? No. Do I stop what I'm doing everytime they need something? No. But in the large quantities of time, I get to have quality time. I hears about what happens at school. I read with them. I discuss the gospel. I play. I teach about geography. I tell them to do chores. The less quantity of time, the less opportunity for quality time. You can try to schedule quality time, but so much of it comes spontaneously when you are around when they make a poor choice, or ask a question, or watch you interact with others, or while you are hanging out having fun, or having dinner and the toddler does something funny. Quantity time means there is enough time to prod kids into doing chores and homework and practicing the piano, but also enough time to go to library just for fun. I also love to take my kids out on on a Mommy daughter or son date. It is fun. It makes them feel special, but I'm also glad for the tremendous quantity time I get to have. The kids know that I'm around and I think that is important in itself. Since I’m a SAHM I get to offer a lot of quantity time. Am I reading and playing games with my kids all day long? No. Do I stop what I’m doing everytime they need something? No.
But in the large quantities of time, I get to have quality time. I hears about what happens at school. I read with them. I discuss the gospel. I play. I teach about geography. I tell them to do chores.
The less quantity of time, the less opportunity for quality time. You can try to schedule quality time, but so much of it comes spontaneously when you are around when they make a poor choice, or ask a question, or watch you interact with others, or while you are hanging out having fun, or having dinner and the toddler does something funny. Quantity time means there is enough time to prod kids into doing chores and homework and practicing the piano, but also enough time to go to library just for fun.
I also love to take my kids out on on a Mommy daughter or son date. It is fun. It makes them feel special, but I’m also glad for the tremendous quantity time I get to have. The kids know that I’m around and I think that is important in itself.

]]> By: DKL http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5335 DKL Sat, 02 Dec 2006 03:33:06 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5335 Well put, Rusty. I'm with your 100% on this one. Well put, Rusty. I’m with your 100% on this one.

]]> By: Seth R. http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5334 Seth R. Sat, 02 Dec 2006 03:20:01 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5334 I work at home. I find myself sharing my life with my two daughters and my wife. Whether it's a quality life or not, it's my life, and that's all I got to offer. New baby has us a bit worn out though, so we're all a bit on edge. But that's life! I work at home. I find myself sharing my life with my two daughters and my wife.

Whether it’s a quality life or not, it’s my life, and that’s all I got to offer.

New baby has us a bit worn out though, so we’re all a bit on edge.

But that’s life!

]]> By: Susan M http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5333 Susan M Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:49:56 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5333 When I was working fulltime and my husband was home with the kids (he was going to school fulltime), I had regular mommy-dates with the kids. Every weekend I'd take a different one out for whatever they wanted to do (usually it was a movie, one kid always just wanted to go to Burger King). They loved the one-on-one time with Mom. When I was working fulltime and my husband was home with the kids (he was going to school fulltime), I had regular mommy-dates with the kids. Every weekend I’d take a different one out for whatever they wanted to do (usually it was a movie, one kid always just wanted to go to Burger King). They loved the one-on-one time with Mom.

]]> By: Don Clifton http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5330 Don Clifton Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:23:00 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5330 Thanks Rusty, I still have quality time with Bret watching sports on TV and Bryce and Bret watching movies. If we fathers just spent more time with their children some of it would end up being quality time, even if it is accidental. Lots of quantity will end up being some quality! Trouble is if the quantity is low it's quite possible none of it will be quality. You need quantity to understand the child, to know them, about them and how to relate to them individually. Quality time to me seems to force the issue...like since it's limited I have to do something special that the child likes or wants. If that's what my relationship with him is based on he and I are both in deep trouble. Excuse me, I have to leave now and watch a basketball game with Bret....I wish quality time with my wife was this easy!! Thanks Rusty, I still have quality time with Bret watching sports on TV and Bryce and Bret watching movies.

If we fathers just spent more time with their children some of it would end up being quality time, even if it is accidental. Lots of quantity will end up being some quality!

Trouble is if the quantity is low it’s quite possible none of it will be quality.

You need quantity to understand the child, to know them, about them and how to relate to them individually. Quality time to me seems to force the issue…like since it’s limited I have to do something special that the child likes or wants. If that’s what my relationship with him is based on he and I are both in deep trouble.

Excuse me, I have to leave now and watch a basketball game with Bret….I wish quality time with my wife was this easy!!

]]> By: Kurt http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5329 Kurt Fri, 01 Dec 2006 21:44:32 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5329 Research suggests that quality of contact (e.g., direct, nurturing physical contact) is <a href="http://www.earlychildhoodfocus.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=3118" rel="nofollow">more important for babies</a>, and <a href="http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=RecordDetails&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED411970&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=eric_accno&objectId=0900000b80122c79" rel="nofollow">quantity is more important for children</a>. A lot of this is due to <a href="http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=RecordDetails&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=EJ651021&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=eric_accno&objectId=0900000b8007deae" rel="nofollow">differences in perception</a> between what is "quality time" between children and adults. Research suggests that quality of contact (e.g., direct, nurturing physical contact) is more important for babies, and quantity is more important for children. A lot of this is due to differences in perception between what is “quality time” between children and adults.

]]> By: endlessnegotiation http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5328 endlessnegotiation Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:54:04 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5328 Too many parents overvalue time with their children not realising that a little mom and dad goes a long way. Parents should not be their children's best friends-- our primary function is to turn children into positively contributing members of a society. Research has shown that by the time children are four or five parents have nearly exhausted their influence on their children's lives. From that point on raising children is like the sport of curling with the child playing the role of the stone and the parents serving as the sweepers. Quality time refers not so much to the virtues associated with the activities in which child and parent engage, but rather the marginal value of that time to the child. Speaking from experience, the first minute I spend with my children doing any activity is quite valuable and high quality. However, after an hour I know that no matter what we're doing my 10-year-old and 8-year-old are probably starting to get sick of their old man and consequently the value of each additional minute begins to rapidly decline in value. Those additional minutes would not be considered quality time no matter what we were doing. Quality time is not a crock! You just haven't figured out how to measure it. Too many parents overvalue time with their children not realising that a little mom and dad goes a long way. Parents should not be their children’s best friends– our primary function is to turn children into positively contributing members of a society. Research has shown that by the time children are four or five parents have nearly exhausted their influence on their children’s lives. From that point on raising children is like the sport of curling with the child playing the role of the stone and the parents serving as the sweepers.

Quality time refers not so much to the virtues associated with the activities in which child and parent engage, but rather the marginal value of that time to the child. Speaking from experience, the first minute I spend with my children doing any activity is quite valuable and high quality. However, after an hour I know that no matter what we’re doing my 10-year-old and 8-year-old are probably starting to get sick of their old man and consequently the value of each additional minute begins to rapidly decline in value. Those additional minutes would not be considered quality time no matter what we were doing.

Quality time is not a crock! You just haven’t figured out how to measure it.

]]> By: Rusty http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5326 Rusty Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:23:51 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5326 LOL! John, I think we're saying pretty much the same thing, just talking past each other a tiny bit. LOL! John, I think we’re saying pretty much the same thing, just talking past each other a tiny bit.

]]> By: john f. http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=387&cpage=1#comment-5325 john f. Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:07:08 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/2006/12/01/isnt-it-about%e2%80%a6quality-time/#comment-5325 Rusty, how absurd. I am not adverse to the TV. Sorry to have conveyed that message. Rusty, how absurd. I am not adverse to the TV. Sorry to have conveyed that message.

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