I think that serving in the bishopric is an awesome opportunity to serve and to also get to see the miracles that take place within a ward that the general membership may be unaware of. I would be thrilled if my husband were called to the bishopric because I know it would be a wonderful testimony building and growth experience for him. Granted, I no longer have small children and so it would not be as burdensome to our family as it is to many others.

Being female, I know I probably will never understand the pressures of being in a bishopric and I am sure there is a lot I just don’t know or understand. It seems to me, however, that it might be wise to take the calling seriously but don’t take yourself too seriously in the calling. I have had friends in high leadership positions (and their wives) who got really majorly stressed out because they felt the pressure to be perfect over night. That isn’t fair. We need to give these guys a break too. I also think that some make it worse on themselves, when they understake the task of trying to force people to comply with their requests. My personal opinion is that if a person declines an invitation to speak, then accept the decline gracefully. I don’t understand the tendency to try and talk people into things against their will. Encouragement is one thing but sometimes I think that there is a desire to “fix” people and we forget to respect their agency. We all are growing at differnet speeds and in different areas. I don’t like asking people to do stuff either but when they say “no” I try and handle it gracefully and move on to the next one on the list. Anyway, that’s is just my opinion on the subject. I am sure many disagree.

I found out a funny thing about myself and leadership. I’m certianly no good at it for most of the same reasons you stated (I already knew that) but that it is not like the old adage “leadership is a lonely position” for me. I guess with all the responsiblities they require I have to get to know more people and interact with them; hopefully in a friendly way. When I’m in a low-maintenance calling, it’s a whole lot easier for me to be the recluse that I am and only talk to people I feel like talking to.

This still doesn’t mean I necessarily want big leadership callings, but I don’t mind them so much anymore.

I never felt like I was “presiding” over the ward members. I guess it’s the same thing for me when I have served as a manager or supervisor. I just felt like my job was to help them do their job better. When I was bishop I was just there to help people live their lives better. When someone would come to me to confess a serious transgression they usually were afraid that I would be shocked. But the reality of it was that I had usually heard much worse from others. And when you serve as bishop the Lord gives you a new perspective about the transgressions of others. I loved that job.

Also I remember, back when we ward had a budget, and temple assesment, asking a very active member to contribute what the Bishop thought was appropriate and his reaction….not good and very uncomfortable for me.

Also temple interviews and youth interviews are bad when they have something to “talk about” (confess). Stop! I don’t need to hear this….take it to the Bishop.

I hid out in primary most of the time too.

One trick that sometimes works is to have another member of the bishopric or organization presidency do your dirty work for you. Then if your friend comes to you afterwards you can say that you asked the other person to do it because you thought the other leader needed the experience as a “training” opportunity.