Comments on: Regret

By: Lamonte

Lamonte — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:49:43 +0000

Bookslinger and m&m – Thanks for hanging in there on my now days old blog. I think you both make excellent points. My reason for writing this post was the fact that I think we all spend too much time wondering what might have been. “If I had only done that….then my life would be different.” First of all, there is no guarentee that my life WOULD be better or different. Secondly, what’s done is done and there’s no way to change it. The best we can do is play the hand we are dealt and move forward with a commitment to do our best.

By: annegb

annegb — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:42:53 +0000

I’m consumed with regret, guilt and shame. It literally makes me sick.

By: Bookslinger

Bookslinger — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:14:56 +0000

What m&m said.

Regret is part and parcel of repentance. When we truely repent, then the guilt or burden of sin is lifted (canceled, washed away) through the Atonement and God’s grace.

By: m&m

m&m — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 06:46:21 +0000

Regret that can lead toward change and more Christlikeness seems to me a bit like godly sorrow toward repentance. Regret that stays stuck in self-criticism and guilt that paralyzes seems counterproductive to me.

By: Norbert

Norbert — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:36:54 +0000

‘What a fool a man is to remember anything that happened more than a week ago unless it was pleasant, or unless he wants to make some use of it.’
Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh

By: Rusty

Rusty — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:24:09 +0000

Gosh, now I kinda regret my empty threats yesterday…

By: marcus

marcus — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:20:45 +0000

Regret is nothing more than sorrow, and a byproduct of love. Don’t you have to first love someone before you can feel the regret, or sorrow, at having lost them or wronged them?

Also, isn’t joy the opposite of sorrow? As such, you would have to live a pretty meaningless life to never know sorrow, because you could never really know joy.

By: John Mansfield

John Mansfield — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:53:40 +0000

Opportunity costs. I’ve heard someone did a study showing that people allowed to choose a scoop of ice cream from one of three varieties are happier than when they choose from among a dozen varieties. The more choices there are, the less overwhelming superior is the one selected.

By: cj douglass

cj douglass — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:40:34 +0000

Regret is bitter sweet for me. I admit playing the “what if” game on a regular basis. It can be painful. But then I look at my life and in particular I look at who is in my life. WIthout all those screw ups, I might have never met my wife etc. Ofcourse because we don’t subscribe to “fate” as LDS, there is always a chance for happiness regardless of the bad choices we make. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, regret can help us change (and stay changed) in a certain area but it should also allow us to squash the agony of regret. That – to me – is one of the beauties of the Atonement – to be able to stomp on regret and throw it out the window.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:49:06 +0000

Good regret: Writing a letter of apology to someone I hurt badly in the past, but didn’t realize it until I had matured.
Bad regret: Dang, I should have just let that one boyfriend kiss me!

I think we should focus on the here and now, too, but there’s nothing wrong with resolving to live “without regret.” Half the battle, though, is being able to differentiate between what will actually cause us to regret, versus something of a passing folly. Unfortunately, hindsight is trump in that kind of situation…