Thank you for writing about your daughter. I prayed for you and her. Tell me how it went.
I have five kids, a loving beautiful wife, good neighbors, understanding clients, and serve in church leadership, but here I am wondering…wondering what this is all about. Embarrassed actually.
I have never doubted God’s existence nor his involvement in our lives. I have simple faith. Nothing fancy. Nothing overly impressive. I do love the Lord. I truly love him. I am, however, reaching…I must be honest, I am struggling to feel as one with him.
There she lies on her bed within her beauty beyond description. Her head without hair nor blemish. Her heart full of love. In the fetal position and above her monitors of pulse and pressures. Four pumps delivering IV meds shine a faint emerald light. Here I am gazing on my beautiful, pure daughter, wondering. Wondering what this is all about.
I have appreciated the comments in this string. I have asked God what can I do to take away the pain…to take away her suffering. Silence. Am I worthy? He has said he will come quickly. He has said he is a God of miracles. She qualifies. Do I? Maybe not. I don’t know. You ask yourself, “is it me that withholds her blessings?” Am I the unprofitable servant? I taste the bitter cup’s contents every day and do not resent God for it. I do however hate the taste and wonder how she and I can continue on.
The fire is hot. My character stretched. Tonight I feel the recoil and hear the snap. I kneel along her bedside and plead with God to hear me. To hear me. I plead to know his will and pray it is for her to stay with us. Silence. I hear the negative pressure filter and the sounds of the keypad clicking away. She sighs as she rolls over. I reflect on her first breath the breath of life. Tears flush my eyes as I have so much anxiety about tomorrow.
I wish with all my heart I could make a deal with God and the scripture quickly fills my mind “oh yea of little faith”. He indeed wept bitterly as the cock crowed. He sat on his knees wondering what happened. In loneliness. Why? How? Anger, disbelief, and acceptance. What was it that gave him peace to move forward? Reconciliation. Redemption. Reuniting.
Here am I. A man. Simple. Plain. Humbled. Still wondering, but waiting…]]>
All things can never be equal in personal relationships. I can never be you for instance. But I do agree that God is no respecter of persons and thus he does not show unfair favoritism in the type of deals he is willing to accept. But the truth is that most people don’t even have enough faith/belief to propose deals to God. If we don’t ask we are 100% certain not to receive a deal with God. I believe that is why Jesus told us to ask and seek for these kinds of favors/interventions as Christians.
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
(Matt 7: 7)
Huh? What are you talking about Don? Are you saying God must accept every deal that is offered to him? That is just silly.
God can accept or reject any deal he wants just like we can. It all depends on the terms.]]>
If He accepts some deal you propose then to be a just God He has to accept my deal…all things being equal. Like my post said where’s the cut off, you have 2% more faith than me so you get the deal and I don’t.]]>
I haven’t read the comments but I think you are completely wrong in this post. I can’t speak for you, but I and others can and have made deals with God.
If that were true then I’m manipulating God.
This is just a silly statement. If you offer God terms and he accepts them then there is no manipulation involved at all. Of course we can’t force God to accept the terms we offer but he is free to accept any deal we might come up with.
Where does He draw the line?
I dunno. Ask him. But if he is free to choose then he can decide where to draw lines himself.
I do think God is very much in the deal making business. We call them covenants in the church and last time I checked he is all for covenants.]]>
I think the real problem here has something to do with the attitude of the MP’s involved. It’s a shame. I’ve noticed that the church has improved a lot in it’s execution of the missionary program in recent years and I sure hope I am right about that.
I don’t agree with chastizing missionaries for not meeting goals unless it’s because they have been totally goofing off. I also agree that one cannot pray away other’s agencies.
There is a lot more to the book than just what is being discussed here. If my memory serves me correctly, I think the author also talks about being very specific in one’s prayers. That made a big impression on me and changed the way I pray.
Anyway, I always feel sad when I hear those types of mission stories. I agree it’s disillusioning. I just don’t agree that it’s purely the fault of that one book, but I suppose if I had had your experience it would have left a bad taste in my mouth as well.]]>
FWIW, it wasn’t just in one mission where Drawing on the Powers of Heaven has been misused. Two or three adjacent missions in Brazil, at least, had the same issue, and if you google the book you’ll see a couple of references to it by ex-mormons who served in Germany.]]>