Hey, I’ve done unisex bathrooms in West Hollywood. Eh!

gay rights usually wins over religious rights.

How terrifying.

You know, something about this sounds familiar, and I just realized what it is: Back in the 70s, when the issue was ERA, the opponents of it were saying that passage of the ERA would result in the mandatory imposition of unisex bathrooms. I found that argument less than compelling then, and I feel the same way about this one now.

I just wanted to make it clear that it’s not just some made up mumbo jumbo meant to scare us all.. these are actual cases, and when it comes down to it, gay rights usually wins over religious rights.

And that does scare me.

I just want to know how the average church member is going to make the shift from disgust to acceptance of celibate, faithful gays.

That’s a pretty low view of church members. I’d say we’ll make the shift the same way other Americans have made the shift: by getting to know our gay brothers and sisters. I know my viewpoint changed—way way back in high school—when a couple old friends (including one I’d known since probably kindergarten) came out of the closet. Sure, there’s a little cognative dissonance, and then you realize that he’s the same guy he was before.

I suspect that harsh rhetoric toward a group of people is a lot easier before you know members of that group.

I’m happy to know you are loved and accepted in your ward and stake. You are lucky, in contrast to many others who are treated with less respect. My point is that the rhetoric from general authorities tells us to all be accepting and loving of gays who are active in the church, but the bottom line is that people have bias, even bigotry, to overcome. We as a people still need to figure out how gays will become part of Mormon culture now that they have a clearly defined place in official policies.

“Limited participation in priesthood callings” does refer to bishops and other high-profile callings. It also refers to working with young men, scouting callings, and primary callings. Unless something has changed recently, anyone who is known to be gay cannot hold a calling with youth or children (I’m basing this on my experience in a bishopric in the late 90s). (And while we’re at it, what’s the deal with annotating the membership records of people who have had homosexual relations, even if they have repented? it’s another example of the special treatment of gays that further separates them from the rest of us. Serial adulterers don’t get a membership annotation, if they’re straight.) Even though the rhetoric says that single gay men are in the same boat as single women, I’m quite sure you’ll never see the male equivalent of Sheri Dew, at the general church leadership levels.

Again, I just want to know how the average church member is going to make the shift from disgust to acceptance of celibate, faithful gays. That’s a big leap that can’t be managed just because an apostle says to treat them better.

I think I’ll stick to my firm belief that they’re average people called to do an extraordinary task by a loving Heavenly Father.

That said, I do have two comments of a contrary nature:

First, if it’s true that all the talk from the pulpit is just posturing, then they’re in for quite a surprise, because folks are listening. I’m an out gay man who is loved, appreciated, and accepted — though not necessarily understood — in my ward and stake. The whole “fake it ’til you make it” mantra cuts both ways.

Second, you mention “limited participation in priesthood callings”, but I’m not entirely certain what you mean. I have an inkling, mind you … but if you’re talking about the old canard that unmarried men can’t be a bishop, then you may want to revisit that. Granted, I’ll not likely be called to be Stake President as an out gay man… but who aspires to that, any way?

Everyone has “limited participation in priesthood callings” in this church. Men aspiring to callings are rarely rewarded and women (outside the temple) are severely curtailed. We all work to magnify the callings we have. And there’s plenty of work to do in the Kingdom. I won’t be unemployed any time soon.