I started my blog before Elder Ballard invited us to participate in the online discussions taking place. Yes, my original intention was to provide an alternative positive voice to all the negative things you can find out about the church through a simple Google search. My focus is to provide positive content that ranks high in Google searches. So yes, I do consider my blog to be my contribution to missionary work and yes, I do try to answer criticism of the Church.

My goal in blogging is to provide myself a somewhat formal vehicle for regular study of the gospel. I find that my motivation to study each day increases with the prospect of sharing it with others. I always study the gospel more if I have a church calling such as a teacher or if I am speaking regularly in church – as a High Counselor, for example. Right now I am a ward clerk so there is no regular required gospel lesson prep each week. Blogging fills that need for me.

I originally created my blog as a part journal/part LDS slice-of-life exercise. I wanted to share my testimony of the Lord’s participation in my and my family’s journey, but also offer observations of many of the “isms” in LDS life– the characters, the music, the “way things are done,” etc. My mood ebbs and flows, though– as does my expendable time– and too often that seeps into my writing (the class clown, for example).

As to the purpose of blogging, I appreciate and admire the members who consistently keep a spiritual timbre in their blogs and those who strive to reach out to those not in the Church. They may have all the success of SETI, but it’s a noble endeavor. I believe, though, that the garden variety Mormon blog is more of a social environment for members (plus a few nons, a few ex’s…). As part of our earthly missions to “strenghten the saints,” the blog is a potentially great tool, allowing us to exchange thoughts and helping us crystallize own own beliefs.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, beliefs and concerns, and for helping me crystallize mine.

What started out as a perfectly shallow and rambling blog has now turned into my lifeline. Like Velska, I was so tired of reading community forums where the Prophets were ridiculed, Doctrine questioned at every turn, and contention was the status quo. I’ve tried to stay away from those communities now because they did nothing but hurt me. Also, because of this, my blog has transformed into something better and better and has become a definite missionary tool.

But I do it differently.

My blog represents a real live woman who lives and loves the Mormon faith. I make no apologies for my religion; I don’t try to hide it. My thoughts are real and raw; my experiences are never watered down. I suffer from depression and so I blog about how the Gospel has helped me through the darkest times of my life. I’m a mother, so I blog about how lifted I feel when I apply the principles of the Gospel and obey the commandments, even when it sucks. I’m a wife, daughter, friend, and sister, and so I take every opportunity to declare truth, but in a way that doesn’t ostrocize (how do you spell ostrosize?).

So, yeah. I’m a Mormon blogger. Totally.

At some point I got disgusted with every discussion deteriorating into an anti-Mormon group attack and I dropped out (I also had some personal issues I had to work with). The good thing about the “Bloggernacle” is that it apparently has increased availability of correct info about the Church. I just wonder how many people read these, or if any find them helpful. To me, it is interesting to see how heterogeneous the participants are, and the different views expressed.

I have also approached blogs that are not “friendly” and tried the “soft answer”. Sometimes I’m drowned under a deluge of negative responses, sometimes there is a genuine exchange of ideas.

I have not had a very encouraging history of setting goals. I do believe that it is important that we have them, though. It’s one of the things I still have to learn.

I did not feel compelled to comment on any of them for a long time, but over time, I came to feel that I knew and really liked several of the bloggers I ran into here, though I had never actually met them. Now that I have met a few, and interacted with some of them more, I find I like them more than ever.

If I have a goal as a blogger, it’s to simply continue to enjoy your company, and to discuss things with you here that I rarely get a chance to discuss with anyone in real life. I don’t think I’m doing much missionary work, except poorly and by accident, but I think what we do here is important. I feel better and stronger as a member of the Church because of reading the things you say here. You make me love the Church more. You make me want to be a better member. So, if those are your goals, you’re doing a great job. I guess what I really want to say is, Thank You.