Bloggers are, almost by definition, more narcissistic and self-important than the general population at large. We also tend to deal with a lot more shoot-from-the-hip incivility and time constraints mean we have to also shoot from the hip in our responses. Incivility is to be expected.

Basically, we’re all a bunch of weirdos, but I’m totally fine with that!

Many of the things which lead people to make comments are so purely subjective that it would be hard to claim them as “Gospel”. Just because you don’t like the way someone dresses doesn’t make it irreverent or unrighteous. If things like tattoos and piercing don’t automatically bar someone from the temple then how can we automatically presume to know the state of their souls based on those things? Just a couple obvious examples of where judging gray areas with one’s own black and white view can be dangerous.

If we are not to call each other to reprentance, then what are our obligations to each other to help purify the membership? Should we turn our backs to the sins of others? What good would that be other than allow satan and his influence free reign? The gospel stands for things or it doesn’t.

This is a very telling quote from you Jetboy and just as wrong-headed as it is possible to be.

You do not have a responsibility to purify the membership. That is not your job. What gave you that idea in the first place? I have never heard that taught in our church. Ever.

This does not mean that you turn your back on the sins of others, or that you give satan and his influence free reign. The way you influence others is by love and example, not condemnation. The way you fight satan is through prayer, repentance and personal righteousness. Speaking of which, whatever happened to biting your tongue and worrying about your own sins when tempted to correct others? Does that sound at all familiar to you? It’s what Christ asked of us.

#10: “It’s compelling to judge others because it acts like a sonar ping to our own positions.”

Well-stated. Saints in general seem overly concerned with how we’ll be judged. We tend to settle on heuristics for ourselves, which often include comparison to others, and then apply them broadly. Hope – realistic anticipation of our own final salvation – is the antidote. With this, we stop judgment altogether, of ourselves and others. There’s simply no need after discovering that the best Judge is infinitely more merciful than we are.

(BTW #8, hope, not rejecting “appearance sins” altogether, is IMO the best way to deal with those impossible tasks.)

We tend to skip from faith straight to charity. Or we try to, and fail miserably. Charity is really hard to have when doing all this judging stuff. Yet there are plenty who think the best way to help someone develop Christlike attributes is to hold salvation in front of them like a carrot, withholding it until they meet a minimum standard of righteousness. Hope doesn’t fit in that framework, since you only develop hope after you learn you’ve been saved. Besides that, it’s not how the gospel works.

I have some religious envy of Protestant Christianity over this, because they seem to understand hope better than we do.

I believe both answers, of course, are yes and yes with caution. We should not be mean about it, but as Saints it is our responsiblity to point out the sins of the world. To me that includes making statements toward members who should understand the most. For instance, was it Nephi’s place to call his brother’s to repentance? Although there is that family relationship, it was the father that was in charge and Nephi shouldn’t have said anything. Yet, the Book of Mormon seems to indicate it was because of his faith and obedience that he was given the authority of speaking up. I admit he is the closest example of such “unauthorized” calling out. His brothers definately called him self righteous.

Because of the straight forwardness of the internet I am much harsher than in real life where I am for the most part quiet. However, because the Internet is so non-private I feel it an obligation to speak up and even be mean.

If we are not to call each other to reprentance, then what are our obligations to each other to help purify the membership? Should we turn our backs to the sins of others? What good would that be other than allow satan and his influence free reign? The gospel stands for things or it doesn’t.

In other words, Jettboy, the answers to your questions are no and no. You are never right to condemn others and it is never within your authority to call someone else to repentance, unless of course you happen to be that person’s bishop. And even then you better make absolutely certain you are following the spirit, because most bisops I have known do not operate that way.

I think over the years one thing has become clear. When people need to feel superior, it really doesn’t matter the reason – they’ll latch on to whatever they can. And if they can get others to listen – even better. So first comes pride – then gossip. They’re both horrible.

It’s also tricky now that I’m a mom of teenagers. How to help my children NOT be that way, but yet make right choices – because sometimes you can’t always simply NOT be friends with someone – sometimes that’s not the best way. They just might turn out to be your best friend in spite of the differences of opinion. But, to know that no matter what choices are being made around them they need to choose the right because of who they are. How to teach them when is the time to say something (and thus talk about the gospel) and when it’s just good to be a good example. And help them love and respect everyone around them whether they agree or disagree because of who they are. And sometimes when it’s time to actually say – you know, I know this is right, you may make your choice, but this is what I know. And yes, I’ve seen a rare occassion when I was proud of my children for drawing the courage to take a stance. I will admit though, those times it usually involved a lack of respect that was being exhibited by others or something harmful.

All of this is REALLY tricky and makes for lots of long, interesting discussions with my teenagers.