The choices our kids make are more about them then they are about us. We taught them as well as we could at the time and now they get to make their own choices. Try not to mourn too deeply. Your son isn’t done yet–and neither are you. Heavenly Father is still working on you both.
For an LDS perspective on living righteously although fwwling same gender attraction, you may wish to read http://how-i-deal.blogspot.com/ It is by an active, temple attending woman who deals with this.]]>
Todd: My sympathies to you and your family. I understand your feelings somewhat but I think you are perhaps overreacting just a bit. I have a 15 yr old son and I have thought about what I would think if he made the same announcement. I don’t think I would feel te same as you do.
First, a lot of 17 yr olds say things without knowing what they’re talking about. He may be wrong in his assessment of his sexuality. It happens, so don’t make any drastic assumptions, and try to talk him out of any final conclusions on the subject until he explores his feelings a bit further.
Second, even if he is right about his feelings and he chooses to live the rest of his life as a gay man, there is still hope that he can have all of the things you want for him, provided that he still wants them. He can still serve a mission, he can still go to the temple, he can still have children. I have gay friends who have done all of these things.
His life may be different than you planned, but there is no reason to abandon these dreams if he still has a testimony of the gospel and a desire to see these things happen in his life. God bless you and your son as you work through this difficult issue.]]>
Even my littlest one, will thank God in her prayers that ” Jesus dwied on the cwoss for me”… precious moments.
Thankfully, I still have time to think it over. She’s only 2 years old.
Seth ~ I don’t know, how do you explain an event to kids that’s supposed to be a mystery?
Best I can say is, you try. We’re all making this up as we go along, aren’t we?
Todd ~ Love your son for who he is. Let him know what you would like him to be, but his choices have to be his own. If he still wants to go on a mission or anything, great, but don’t try to force him if he does not want to; that never works out well.
Becoming a homosexual is not the worst thing that could happen to your child, and it is not the worst choice your son could make. His life doesn’t have to be darkness and despair; just different from what you thought it would be. And I don’t want to sound homophobic, but I have seen people go from being homosexual to being straight. Don’t discount the possibility for change.
We will pray for you both here.]]>
I’m not sure being gay disqualifies you for a mission. It’s inappropriate sexual relations that do that.
At any rate, I’ve worried how I would react if my 2 year old boy ended up in a similar situation. It’s rough. But the only thing I can think is – I wouldn’t want to make it worse by making his loving participation in the family conditional.
Focus on values you can come together on. Whether you agree with homosexuality or not, I think both camps can agree that teenagers should be having respectful relationships, and sex shouldn’t be a part of that at this stage.
Also keep this in mind – you child is not “broken.” He’s not a defect. He is still capable of an incredibly joyful and fulfilling life (regardless of whether or not his state of “being gay” ever changes).
Help him have it. Take goodness where you find it.]]>