Comments on: Easter Thoughts – My Children http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947 Tue, 21 May 2013 21:34:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 By: Norma P http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81245 Norma P Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:05:26 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81245 Todd--I know how it feels when it appears that your child has shut himself off from the life you hoped for him; I too have children whose choices are not the ones I would have chosen for them. One of my children has turned himself around with the Lord's help and that helps me feel better about my own parenting. The choices our kids make are more about them then they are about us. We taught them as well as we could at the time and now they get to make their own choices. Try not to mourn too deeply. Your son isn't done yet--and neither are you. Heavenly Father is still working on you both. For an LDS perspective on living righteously although fwwling same gender attraction, you may wish to read http://how-i-deal.blogspot.com/ It is by an active, temple attending woman who deals with this. Todd–I know how it feels when it appears that your child has shut himself off from the life you hoped for him; I too have children whose choices are not the ones I would have chosen for them. One of my children has turned himself around with the Lord’s help and that helps me feel better about my own parenting.

The choices our kids make are more about them then they are about us. We taught them as well as we could at the time and now they get to make their own choices. Try not to mourn too deeply. Your son isn’t done yet–and neither are you. Heavenly Father is still working on you both.

For an LDS perspective on living righteously although fwwling same gender attraction, you may wish to read http://how-i-deal.blogspot.com/ It is by an active, temple attending woman who deals with this.

]]> By: MCQ http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81215 MCQ Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:46:35 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81215 Seth, I don't think the event itself is a mystery. It's actually pretty easy for kids to understand the event of Christ's death and resurrection. I think the mystery is how that death and pain actually paid for our sins and how it gives us the power of immortality and repentance. I don't know the how, that's a mystery, but I know it's a fact and I can tell my kids that. They have yet to even ask the how question, and they're teenagers now. Todd: My sympathies to you and your family. I understand your feelings somewhat but I think you are perhaps overreacting just a bit. I have a 15 yr old son and I have thought about what I would think if he made the same announcement. I don't think I would feel te same as you do. First, a lot of 17 yr olds say things without knowing what they're talking about. He may be wrong in his assessment of his sexuality. It happens, so don't make any drastic assumptions, and try to talk him out of any final conclusions on the subject until he explores his feelings a bit further. Second, even if he is right about his feelings and he chooses to live the rest of his life as a gay man, there is still hope that he can have all of the things you want for him, provided that he still wants them. He can still serve a mission, he can still go to the temple, he can still have children. I have gay friends who have done all of these things. His life may be different than you planned, but there is no reason to abandon these dreams if he still has a testimony of the gospel and a desire to see these things happen in his life. God bless you and your son as you work through this difficult issue. Seth, I don’t think the event itself is a mystery. It’s actually pretty easy for kids to understand the event of Christ’s death and resurrection. I think the mystery is how that death and pain actually paid for our sins and how it gives us the power of immortality and repentance. I don’t know the how, that’s a mystery, but I know it’s a fact and I can tell my kids that. They have yet to even ask the how question, and they’re teenagers now.

Todd: My sympathies to you and your family. I understand your feelings somewhat but I think you are perhaps overreacting just a bit. I have a 15 yr old son and I have thought about what I would think if he made the same announcement. I don’t think I would feel te same as you do.

First, a lot of 17 yr olds say things without knowing what they’re talking about. He may be wrong in his assessment of his sexuality. It happens, so don’t make any drastic assumptions, and try to talk him out of any final conclusions on the subject until he explores his feelings a bit further.

Second, even if he is right about his feelings and he chooses to live the rest of his life as a gay man, there is still hope that he can have all of the things you want for him, provided that he still wants them. He can still serve a mission, he can still go to the temple, he can still have children. I have gay friends who have done all of these things.

His life may be different than you planned, but there is no reason to abandon these dreams if he still has a testimony of the gospel and a desire to see these things happen in his life. God bless you and your son as you work through this difficult issue.

]]> By: gloria http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81193 gloria Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:51:51 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81193 Jack, I appreciated your remarks. I too have met men who have gone from being homosexual to being strait. God is still in the business of miracles, and can definately change hearts. I think it's times like these when our "love" for our fellow beings is really put to a test... it's easy to love those who do what we wish them to do.... but the real test of love comes when we are called to love those that are radically different or doing things we deeply oppose. May God grant each of us a full portion of His agape love. Kind regards, gloria Jack,
I appreciated your remarks. I too have met men who have gone from being homosexual to being strait. God is still in the business of miracles, and can definately change hearts. I think it’s times like these when our “love” for our fellow beings is really put to a test… it’s easy to love those who do what we wish them to do…. but the real test of love comes when we are called to love those that are radically different or doing things we deeply oppose. May God grant each of us a full portion of His agape love.

Kind regards,
gloria

]]> By: gloria http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81192 gloria Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:47:49 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81192 Dear Todd, MY heart goes out to you. I will be praying for you todd and your son. Praying that despite his choices he is making you may love him all the more. Jesus calls us to love one another and it's so very hard to do that when a loved one is making choices that just break our hearts..... Praying, gloria Dear Todd,
MY heart goes out to you. I will be praying for you todd and your son. Praying that despite his choices he is making you may love him all the more. Jesus calls us to love one another and it’s so very hard to do that when a loved one is making choices that just break our hearts…..
Praying,
gloria

]]> By: gloria http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81191 gloria Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:45:56 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81191 Hi, seth. I have 10 kids -- ages 16 yob, 14 yog, 12 yog, 11 yob, 11 yog, 8 yroldtwin boys, 6 yog, 5yob, & last but definately not least, our 'baby' ... 4 yr old girl! Even my littlest one, will thank God in her prayers that " Jesus dwied on the cwoss for me"... precious moments. Kind regards, gloria Hi, seth. I have 10 kids — ages 16 yob, 14 yog, 12 yog, 11 yob, 11 yog, 8 yroldtwin boys, 6 yog, 5yob, & last but definately not least, our ‘baby’ … 4 yr old girl!

Even my littlest one, will thank God in her prayers that ” Jesus dwied on the cwoss for me”… precious moments.

Kind regards,
gloria

]]> By: Bridget Jack Meyers http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81149 Bridget Jack Meyers Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:38:27 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81149 Thanks, MCQ and Eric. My daughter will be 3 in June but I have not done a lot of thinking on how to teach her about the Cross, especially in my interfaith situation. Protestants usually emphasize that all individuals (even children) have a personal need to have their sins forgiven, but we get criticized for teaching children that they're sinful and need to repent. The question on how my husband and I might disagree on what to teach our daughter about the atonement hasn't really occurred to me until now. Thankfully, I still have time to think it over. She's only 2 years old. <strong>Seth</strong> ~ <em>I don’t know, how do you explain an event to kids that’s supposed to be a mystery?</em> Best I can say is, you try. We're all making this up as we go along, aren't we? <strong>Todd</strong> ~ Love your son for who he is. Let him know what you would like him to be, but his choices have to be his own. If he still wants to go on a mission or anything, great, but don't try to force him if he does not want to; that never works out well. Becoming a homosexual is not the worst thing that could happen to your child, and it is not the worst choice your son could make. His life doesn't have to be darkness and despair; just different from what you thought it would be. And I don't want to sound homophobic, but I have seen people go from being homosexual to being straight. Don't discount the possibility for change. We will pray for you both here. Thanks, MCQ and Eric. My daughter will be 3 in June but I have not done a lot of thinking on how to teach her about the Cross, especially in my interfaith situation. Protestants usually emphasize that all individuals (even children) have a personal need to have their sins forgiven, but we get criticized for teaching children that they’re sinful and need to repent. The question on how my husband and I might disagree on what to teach our daughter about the atonement hasn’t really occurred to me until now.

Thankfully, I still have time to think it over. She’s only 2 years old.

Seth ~ I don’t know, how do you explain an event to kids that’s supposed to be a mystery?

Best I can say is, you try. We’re all making this up as we go along, aren’t we?

Todd ~ Love your son for who he is. Let him know what you would like him to be, but his choices have to be his own. If he still wants to go on a mission or anything, great, but don’t try to force him if he does not want to; that never works out well.

Becoming a homosexual is not the worst thing that could happen to your child, and it is not the worst choice your son could make. His life doesn’t have to be darkness and despair; just different from what you thought it would be. And I don’t want to sound homophobic, but I have seen people go from being homosexual to being straight. Don’t discount the possibility for change.

We will pray for you both here.

]]> By: Susan M http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81148 Susan M Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:25:22 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81148 First Tom's post almost makes me laugh, and now your post almost makes me cry. That's why I love you guys. First Tom’s post almost makes me laugh, and now your post almost makes me cry. That’s why I love you guys.

]]> By: Todd http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81146 Todd Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:18:07 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81146 Seth R. Please don’t interpret my sadness as rejection, I love him very much and I would never reject him. He is a good young man always willing to help and serve and he has a testimony and a good heart. But knowing how hard it would be to deny your sexuality would you risk your sons soul further by ordaining him to the Melchizedic priesthood or helping him make temple covenants? And yet thought that I will never see him give his mission return address, witness his sealing in the temple or hold his new born son in his arms breaks my heart. I only know the type of life I have lived and the one he may be choosing is a complete mystery to me but to me it can have no lasting joy and I wish he would not go that way. Seth R.
Please don’t interpret my sadness as rejection, I love him very much and I would never reject him. He is a good young man always willing to help and serve and he has a testimony and a good heart. But knowing how hard it would be to deny your sexuality would you risk your sons soul further by ordaining him to the Melchizedic priesthood or helping him make temple covenants?
And yet thought that I will never see him give his mission return address, witness his sealing in the temple or hold his new born son in his arms breaks my heart. I only know the type of life I have lived and the one he may be choosing is a complete mystery to me but to me it can have no lasting joy and I wish he would not go that way.

]]> By: Seth R. http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81143 Seth R. Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:29:07 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81143 Todd, I'm not sure being gay disqualifies you for a mission. It's inappropriate sexual relations that do that. At any rate, I've worried how I would react if my 2 year old boy ended up in a similar situation. It's rough. But the only thing I can think is - I wouldn't want to make it worse by making his loving participation in the family conditional. Focus on values you can come together on. Whether you agree with homosexuality or not, I think both camps can agree that teenagers should be having respectful relationships, and sex shouldn't be a part of that at this stage. Also keep this in mind - you child is not "broken." He's not a defect. He is still capable of an incredibly joyful and fulfilling life (regardless of whether or not his state of "being gay" ever changes). Help him have it. Take goodness where you find it. Todd,

I’m not sure being gay disqualifies you for a mission. It’s inappropriate sexual relations that do that.

At any rate, I’ve worried how I would react if my 2 year old boy ended up in a similar situation. It’s rough. But the only thing I can think is – I wouldn’t want to make it worse by making his loving participation in the family conditional.

Focus on values you can come together on. Whether you agree with homosexuality or not, I think both camps can agree that teenagers should be having respectful relationships, and sex shouldn’t be a part of that at this stage.

Also keep this in mind – you child is not “broken.” He’s not a defect. He is still capable of an incredibly joyful and fulfilling life (regardless of whether or not his state of “being gay” ever changes).

Help him have it. Take goodness where you find it.

]]> By: Todd http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947&cpage=1#comment-81141 Todd Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:54:42 +0000 http://www.nine-moons.com/?p=947#comment-81141 As a father this Easter, the message of the Atonement has weighed heavily on me more so than at any other time in my life. This weekend my 17 year old son, my first born, my name sake my pride and joy has told us he is gay and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m stunned and all I can do is grieve for the loss of my dreams and expectations for him. This in uncharted territory for me I Love him greatly but I don’t know how to counsel him. I have always looked to a future with a mission, education, marriage and family, sure in the knowledge that the gospel would lead him in the right direction. Now I try to imagine his future and all I see is darkness and despair and I can’t quit grieving for the loss. As a father this Easter, the message of the Atonement has weighed heavily on me more so than at any other time in my life. This weekend my 17 year old son, my first born, my name sake my pride and joy has told us he is gay and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m stunned and all I can do is grieve for the loss of my dreams and expectations for him. This in uncharted territory for me I Love him greatly but I don’t know how to counsel him. I have always looked to a future with a mission, education, marriage and family, sure in the knowledge that the gospel would lead him in the right direction. Now I try to imagine his future and all I see is darkness and despair and I can’t quit grieving for the loss.

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