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Nine Moons » Blog Archive : The Online Bloggernacle Gift Shop » The Online Bloggernacle Gift Shop

The Online Bloggernacle Gift Shop

MCQ - February 26, 2011

obey_aaron_tshirt-p235687388719634493qwu8_152

Definitely an idea whose time has come! 

Stan Beale suggested a T-shirt idea which I thought was great and would go right along with some other great ideas for ‘naclewear.  We already have some T-shirts out there, like the BoH inspired shirt above, and I came up with the following items, which should sell like hotcakes.  Feel free to add your own ideas for the gift shop in the comments.

Item # 299674839 DKL punchingbag: $29.95  images

Can’t beat DKL in a match of wits?  Feeling frustrated by his snappy comebacks to your sincere and well-thought-out arguments?  Now you can take out those frustrations and get all the pent-up, aching hostility out of your system with this handy-dandy punching bag.  Manufactured to exact specifications, this life-sized punching bag bears an extraordinary likeness to the self-styled “most reviled person in the bloggernacle.”  You can scream at it and it will only stare at you blankly.  You can hit it as hard as you like, and it will keep popping up for more, just like DKL does online!

 

 

Item #885756868 Steve Evans Mood Ring: $49.99

mood-ring

Combine maximum beauty with amazing utility and take the guesswork out of commenting on BCC with this excellent bannination preventer.  Unlike you, this ring will is always online, using ingenious uplinks and satelite technology to monitor the online activities of the bete noir of BCC.  It changes color from baby blue (showing when Steve at his most mellow and introspective), to fiery red (meaning watch your ass–Steve’s on a rampage).  The ring turns black when Steve’s offline and you can get away with murder.  Comes with a money-back guarantee.  If you get banned while using this baby, we’ll cheerfully refund your money and provide you with a new online identity (See Extreme Dorito for an example of our work).  You’ll be back on BCC again in no time!

 

 

Item #464658585 MoArch Sorting Hat: $39.95

Are you feminist enough for fMh?  Too conservative for BCC?  Too liberal for T&S?  Not smart enough for 9M?  Too educated for M*?  Not Zoobie enough for NCT?  Not Mental enough for Mormon Mentality?  Find out once and for all with this elegant sorting hat (seen below as modeled by mfranti), designed to tell you where you will best fit in the bloggernacle.  Just put the hat on your head and, using the latest in laser technology, the hat will perform a precise analysis and tell you (in an electronic voice that sounds suspiciously like Jonathan Stapley) where in the bloggernacle you belong. 

Sorting Hat

21 Comments »

  1. Are you feminist enough for fMh?  Too conservative for BCC?  Too liberal for T&S?  Not smart enough for 9M?  Too educated for M*?  Not Zoobie enough for NCT?  Not Mental enough for Mormon Mentality?

    Love it. I will take one of each.

    Comment by Chris H. — February 26, 2011 @ 2:57 pm

  2. Yes, I have many rings for sale:

    Three Rings for the Perma-kings under the sky,

    Seven for the Comment-lords in their halls of stone,

    Nine for Newbie Trolls doomed to die,

    One for Steve on his dark throne

    In the Land of BCC where the Shadows lie.

    One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

    One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

    In the Land of BCC where the Shadows lie.

    Comment by Steve Evans — February 26, 2011 @ 10:58 pm

  3. Whoa Steve.

    Put down the remote and back slowly away from the DVD player. You’ve had enough of the LOTR extended edition marathon for one day.

    Comment by MCQ — February 26, 2011 @ 11:32 pm

  4. I just finished a LOTR marathon last weekend. Perfect timing.

    Comment by meems — February 27, 2011 @ 12:10 pm

  5. Brilliant, MCQ! I have no further ideas, but I appreciate all the ones you’ve suggested.

    Comment by Ziff — February 28, 2011 @ 12:37 am

  6. Thanks Ziff! I forgot to mention that the sorting hat won’t let you hang out at ZDs unless you made it through at least calculus in high school. So, there’s that.

    Comment by MCQ — February 28, 2011 @ 3:12 am

  7. Yikes! I should have read this first! I just commented on ZD and I never took calculus. I did take a stats class for the humanities in college, though. Does that count???

    And speaking of Bloggernacle faux pas, perhaps the Bloggernacle Gift Shop should sell indulgences for commenters who commit sins against the Bloggernacle.

    Comment by Researcher — February 28, 2011 @ 7:42 am

  8. A LOTR marathon is only possible if you use the “skip Frodo” method.

    Comment by john f. — March 2, 2011 @ 8:03 am

  9. I have done the “skip Frodo” method. I didn’t realize others did.

    Comment by Chris H. — March 2, 2011 @ 8:25 am

  10. What is the “skip Frodo” method?

    Comment by MCQ — March 2, 2011 @ 3:32 pm

  11. that hat makes me look at least 10 years younger.

    Comment by mfranti — March 3, 2011 @ 6:12 pm

  12. It’s so you!

    Comment by MCQ — March 3, 2011 @ 7:01 pm

  13. What, no Jon McNaughton D-ArtBoards?

    No Mad-ku (Mad-Libs haiku) books for the kids?

    Comment by B.Russ — March 8, 2011 @ 4:51 pm

  14. You’re supposed to come up with the other items. Y’all are lame.

    Comment by MCQ — March 8, 2011 @ 7:31 pm

  15. “Jon McNaughton D-ArtBoards?”

    I’ll take one of those as well.

    Comment by Chris H. — March 8, 2011 @ 7:40 pm

  16. Oh. In that case. How about Jon McNaughton D-Artboards and Mad-ku books?

    Comment by B.Russ — March 8, 2011 @ 8:24 pm

  17. Mcnaughton D-Artboard

    Comment by B.Russ — March 8, 2011 @ 8:36 pm

  18. At least you’re trying, but that was a swing and a miss.

    Comment by MCQ — March 9, 2011 @ 12:05 am

  19. Item #744658596 MCQ Hazerade (10 Pack): $9.95

    Hey n00b, feeling the heat? Is MCQ coming down on you for not knowing your way around the bloggernacle? Quench his burning sarcasm with MCQ Hazerade!! Comes in three fantastic flavors – and if you knew anything at all, you’d already know what they were.

    Comment by B.Russ — March 9, 2011 @ 8:22 am

  20. Ha! I like that.

    Comment by MCQ — March 9, 2011 @ 9:39 am

  21. [...] Steve Evans, commenting on MCQ’s inclusion of the Steve Evans Mood Ring in his post “The Online Bloggernacle Gift Shop” at Nine Moons: Yes, I have many rings for sale: [...]

    Pingback by Zelophehad’s Daughters | Nacle Notebook 2011: Funny Comments — January 9, 2012 @ 11:44 pm

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