Notice: Undefined variable: xwq2ay in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(3) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 1

Notice: Undefined variable: xq9mar in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(3) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 2

Notice: Undefined variable: xb4jym in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(3) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 3

Notice: Undefined variable: xm0hy3 in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(3) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 4

Notice: Undefined variable: x6ow0w in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(6) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 1

Notice: Undefined variable: xee5jr in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(6) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 2

Notice: Undefined variable: xa3p7h in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(6) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 3

Notice: Undefined variable: xinn34 in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(6) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 4

Notice: Undefined variable: xbdf3c in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(9) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 1

Notice: Undefined variable: x8y1da in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(9) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 2

Notice: Undefined variable: xn37zs in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(9) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 3

Notice: Undefined variable: xquipf in /services17/webpages/util/r/c/rclifton.site.aplus.net/nine-moons.com/public/index.php(9) : regexp code(1) : eval()'d code on line 4
Nine Moons » Blog Archive : Guest Post: G Love » Guest Post: G Love

Guest Post: G Love

Rusty - March 12, 2006

By: The Scoutmaster
The Scoutmaster is a friend from my ward in Brooklyn and she has nothing to do with our scouting program.

I’ve been a garment wearer for nearly 10 years now and therefore consider myself an expert on the subject. From mesh to drisilque, I’ve sampled nearly every fabric and size option available—including men’s cotton tops. Although I’m committed to the sacred honor and responsibility of wearing the garment, I’m not above complaining wholeheartedly about them whenever given the opportunity. In these modern days it seems that temple-going members should enjoy better options than underwear that reaches our armpits and boob pockets that reach nothing because they are so massive. Given that the garment design and fabrics have been changed several times since being introduced, I say it’s time to evolve and change again.

What prompted this tirade, you might be wondering (course, if you’re currently sporting 2 feet of extra fabric around your mid-section, you probably aren’t wondering). I recently went to Target to purchase new underwear. Lest ye judge me, I’m an avid exerciser and working out in G’s is NOT an option. I ended up choosing these Hanes boy shorts and let me tell you, I am in love. My new panties consist of the coolest fabric I’ve ever felt. They appear tiny, but stretch like you wouldn’t believe. The fabric is extremely sheer, and when you’re wearing it you barely feel anything, except really slick and skinnier than normal. They are held up with a thick band of the same material around the waist and legs and don’t ride up or down AT ALL… no elastic or lace anywhere. I started to wonder…why can’t garments be made out of material like this? Lace free and non-rolling, with maybe a built in bra?

One look at my current typical outfit, and you’ll understand my desperation: cotton round-neck garment top, size 28, with cotton bottoms size 26 (petite… but the rise is still roughly 10 inches higher than it should be). Shade white t-shirt. Exterior shirt, either long or short sleeved depending on the season. Jeans… the highest waisted I can find, but still not high enough for me to be easily mistaken for a plumber. The shade shirt has become necessary since I hate that the lines of lace can be seen through every t-shirt in America, not to mention the obvious fact that I’m wearing my bra OVER this layer and everyone can tell. It also serves to camouflage the inevitable rolling of the garment bottom, which lands directly on my stomach where, after having two children, I really don’t need any more rolls of ANYTHING. I don’t mind this excessive amount of clothing during the brutal NYC winters, but come spring and summer, I am HOT.

Not to mention I feel fat. Even when I can find a shirt that allows me go Shade-less, the extra rolls of fabric everywhere, the double layers around my stomach…it’s too much to wear. Women in the church have a difficult time feeling sexy or slim—and garment-related wardrobe anxiety is a major contributor. If better alternatives are offered, the garment-wearing women of the church will experience a boost in both confidence AND comfort. Let’s get some underwear at actually FITS!

So what do we do?

According to Mormon legend, garment patterns exist that can be used to sew our own G’s in a fabric we prefer. I thought this was the answer to my problems (despite the fact that I can’t sew), until I received this response from LDScatalog on my inquiry: The church does not permit anyone to make their own garments, so there is no pattern available for that. Bummer. They also provided me with an email address, phone number, and mailing address for suggestions. But before you get all excited and start dashing off what you’d like to change, I’m going to make you read my ideas before I give you the goods.

1. Ask for more fabric options: I would LOVE to see a fabric like my new panties. Something sheer and sleek, that doesn’t make me sweat when the temperature breaks 55 degrees.

2. Create a women’s garment top with a built in bra: for those of us who want to cut down on the layers of clothing we must wear. This top would have to be fairly tight, since many of us currently rely on our bras to “hold our tops in place” so they don’t shift willy-nilly during the day.

3. NO LACE! NO LACE! NO LACE!

4. Shorten the rise, so it hits the waist at a reasonable height, like somewhere in the general vicinity of the belly button.

5. Allow outside vendors to provide garments: In the case of temple wear (i.e. white dresses), competition has greatly improved the choices available. If the Church would provide a list of requirements, then companies such as Shade could come up with alternative garments. Since Beehive clothing has the monopoly, there’s little motivation for improvement, innovation, or quality control… or attractive window displays.

Right now the only alternative—if you hate the fit of your garments—is to quit wearing them. My contention is that if people could find better garments, we just might have more garment wearers attending the temples.

Thanks for humoring me. Feel free to make your own suggestions, but if LDS catalog receives enough input, maybe in three short years I can only be wearing two shirts, instead of three and a bra. A girl can dream…

The contact for LDS catalog is as follows:
email: ldscatalog@ldschurch.org
phone: 1-800-537-5971
post: Distribution Services, 1999 West 1700 South, Salt Lake City, UT 84104

33 Comments »

  1. Move to Colorado where it is NOT so hot and muggy and humid as N.Y.
    Wear one piece garments which I actually prefer, because of all the fabric around ones waist and all the tucking and untucking with two piece garments. One piece garments you don’t look like a plumber when you bend over. Send to SLC a pair of the underwear, Hanes, with the fabric you like.
    A bra in the top would be nice but ladies boobs are such different sizes I expect the price would be cost-pohibitive since they would have to manufacture so many different sizes of cups per size. No lace would be nice. Drisilque bottoms the legs do not ride up the leg.

    Comment by mom — March 13, 2006 @ 12:27 am

  2. Hi, Scoutmaster. We are the same size (except 26/26 petite). I also have too much fabric. My jeans don’t slide up my leg. I feel overly bundled too. And may I add, I live in the equatorial tropics. It averages 90 all year round, except right now which is the hot season and it’s about 94 and intensely humid.
    Every day. Of the year.
    I feel your pain. It’s so humid getting dressed after a shower is difficult. Yes. Just a wee bit less fabric. And better waist bands!! :-)
    (But I’m still grateful for the privilege to wear ‘em!)

    Comment by meems — March 13, 2006 @ 5:00 am

  3. How about a color other than white? If soldiers can get olive drab garments, how about some non-whites for our sisters whose skin isn’t Scandinavian white?

    A good friend tells me that since she was about 6 years old, her mother taught her that white underwear just doesn’t work for those with black skin, especially in the summer when you only wear one layer of outer clothing and that layer is thin. It’s as if you’re walking through one of those x-ray machines that exposes every secret about what you’re wearing beneath your clothes.

    And then she went to the temple to receive her endowment.

    Winter isn’t bad, she says, because she can wear layers, and the clothing is thicker. But summer is a huge challenge. She’s even had other black women come up to her and say, “Girl, you know, you shouldn’t be wearing white . . . Every line shows.”

    For a beautiful woman and classy dresser, it’s tough to have people think you got no upbringin’.

    So, when the fabric folks start deciding to make changes, how about some color options?

    Btw, does she call you “master”?

    Comment by Mark B. — March 13, 2006 @ 10:45 am

  4. I totally agree with all your annoyances. And let me add a few of my own. Have you noticed that each shirt you have has a specific type of garment top it works with – and as a result, you have 3 of every possible type of garment top and material to match your different shirt types? I’m not sure if any of you have this experience, but often, most likely when getting ready for church, I follow the below routine: Take a shower, towel off, dig through my garment drawer to look for the exact top that will work with the dress I’m planning to wear (usually takes at least 5 minutes). If I’m lucky I can 1. Find it at all 2. Find it clean. If it isn’t clean, I’m off to the dirty clothes to continue the hunt. Once I find it there I may smell it and think – come on, this can surely last 3 more hours before truly smelling like a bathroom (a theory which usually is proven false in hour 2 of church). So I slip it on, find the right bottoms (another couple minutes), then tuck the top into the bottoms. Of course the top starts to roll when the bottoms are pulled on so I have to shove my hand around to try to smooth it out. Next I put on my bra. Then I find some pantyhose that will work with my outfit. I pull them on & have to stick my hand down my leg to smooth out the garment rolls that happen once the panty hose are on. Then I put on the outfit I came up with in the shower. Since my house is the size of a peanut I don’t have a full sized mirror so I try to balance on the bathtub to get high enough to see what I look like. Finally I give up – find my husband, and ask what he thinks. The amusement on his face is clear as he politically says “it isn’t my favorite outfit, but of course you look good in anything.” Translation for “holy crap I can’t believe I’m going to have to sit by my ridiculous wife in that outfit. I don’t care if you live in Colorado – fleece jumpers from REI do NOT count as dresses.” At this point I know I must change. I look in my closet for the next outfit I think might work. Of course the new top/skirt combo doesn’t work with the current garments I have on. So I have to strip of my dress, my bra, my garment top & my nylons. Then I have to search for the new correct garment top, put it on, tuck it into the bottoms again, pull up the nylons again, put on my bra again, smooth all the rolls again, find the shade shirt that works with this outfit (please be clean, please be clean), put on my new top & skirt idea. If I’m lucky I look okay. But chances are the top I’ve put on has a big spot on the front I’ve forgotten about, or isn’t the right shade of pink, and I’m going to have to change my top at least once more which of course results in another Easter egg hunt for the right garment top & switching everything out AGAIN! You shouldn’t burn 300 calories while trying to get dressed in the morning – it shouldn’t be this hard! As a result, I can’t remember the last time I made it to church in time for the sacrament.

    Another pet peeve while my rant is going. Even with the right garment top, and shade shirt, and bra, chances are at some point during the day my garment sleeve is going to shift to the right making its presence known to the world. At this point my husband is going to catch my eye from across the room and try to non-chalantly let me know my religion is showing via lace trim. I have to politely excuse myself from the conversation I’m having, find my way to a bathroom, and shift my 17 layers to get the garment top back “under ground.” Now that I know something is awry – the rest of the night I’m worried about it slipping out again – and would prefer just to go home then keep up the garment dance. Meanwhile as I view my husband across the room – I can see his garment shirt band a mile away b/c is hangs out the top slightly of his t-shirt. Of course this is TOTALLY socially acceptable – and all guys let the neck band show. Why is it theirs can show and ours can’t? The female garment should be designed in a way so if it makes an unwelcome guest appearance – it looks like any other t-shirt and no one thinks twice about it.

    Comment by Anonymous — March 13, 2006 @ 10:54 am

  5. I never knew life could be so complicated!

    Reminds me of James Whitcomb Riley’s immortal words:

    Mighty glad I ain’t a girl, rather be a boy;

    Comment by Mark B. — March 13, 2006 @ 11:42 am

  6. I have found the carnissa bottoms to have the lowest rise, but they can get HOT! Have you tried the chemise top won’t roll up like the tops with cups, but they are cut pretty long. I usually buy them a size smaller then the other tops to they will fit tightly.

    Comment by Anonymous — March 13, 2006 @ 11:48 am

  7. pete, is that you?

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 13, 2006 @ 1:22 pm

  8. I love that my mom is the first one to comment. She’s not the most tech-y person in America. When she first got email she would call me right after she sent me one, and proceed to tell me everything it said. I love you Mom!

    Also, have you noticed when you go on trip, your underwear takes up HALF of your suitcase? If they were made out of this Hanes stuff, we might be reduced to it only taking a quarter of the space.

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 13, 2006 @ 1:29 pm

  9. Mark B.

    She doesn’t call me “master”… yet. I’m working on it. But if anyone else wants to, I’m cool with that.

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 13, 2006 @ 1:59 pm

  10. I’ll call you master, o wise one.

    Comment by Chris Williams — March 13, 2006 @ 9:31 pm

  11. I wonder how much good it would do if LDS catalog received “enough input.” How much would that be exatly? I feel it’s probably the same number of people I’d need to recruit in order to have Wendy’s change something via the suggestion box. Except that I’m not a “member” of Wendy’s…

    Comment by Bob Caswell — March 13, 2006 @ 10:56 pm

  12. I still remember the look on the poor girls face at the Provo Distribution Center when John asked for a set of garment patterns. He was not at all pleased with their selection and decided he was going to make his own. Her response: “I’m pretty sure they don’t -like- let you do that anymore. That was back when we were -like- pioneers.”

    Comment by Brooke — March 14, 2006 @ 12:02 pm

  13. LOL, I clicked on this thinking it was another Brokeback Mountain topic.

    I used to wear skimpy tank tops and short shorts (I had good legs because I walked everywhere, about 15 years ago, I got a full on look at myself in the mirror at the swimming pool and oh, the horror), but it was no big deal for me to wear garments. They’ve never bothered me.

    Until now that everyone has pointed stuff out. Suddenly they bother. My garments are too big, because I don’t like tight stuff and they fall down in the crotch and they fall off my arm while I’m leading the music. At one time I would be embarrassed, but now I just reach inside my dress and pull them up.

    Hmm…pondering size here and how to get the most out of my underwear. Plus my young friend turned me on recently to wearing longer garments with pants what a concept, huh? I’m always reaching and tugging. I just never noticed. Thanks a lot you guys. I will never be the same.

    Comment by annegb — March 14, 2006 @ 12:30 pm

  14. How ’bout we circulate a petition with your 5 points? I’ll sign.

    And I’ll add a 6th point–better overall design, but especially in the chemise sleeves.

    Personally, I’d like an organic cotton/hemp blend. But I’ll get it not in this life or the next, probably….

    Comment by Artemis — March 14, 2006 @ 12:52 pm

  15. This topic is totally inappropriate. You all should be ashamed for reading such smut. I on the other hand feel it is my duty to read it and report back to the proper authorities that such “anti” writings are taking place.

    Comment by Kelly G — March 14, 2006 @ 4:20 pm

  16. I’m ready to sign the petition too. And your link to the work-out undies didn’t work and I almost cried. I’m always on the lookout for good work-out undies. Please, tell me more!

    Comment by fMhLisa — March 14, 2006 @ 4:40 pm

  17. Kelly, e-mail me. I want you to get my name right when you report me to my bishop. gardnera@netutah.com

    Comment by annegb — March 14, 2006 @ 5:22 pm

  18. The next step in garment evolution? Forgo fabric entirely and move to something worn around the neck a kin to crosses and crucifixes common with other Christians. http://mormonopenforum.blogsome.com/2005/07/05/temple-fashion/

    Comment by Steve EM — March 14, 2006 @ 6:01 pm

  19. Dude, Steve EM, we’ve gone over this before. Garments aren’t about the symbols per se, the whole garment itself is a symbol. See here and here for good explanations of this. The “covering” is what’s important, not the masonic symbols stiched into the fabric.

    Comment by Rusty — March 14, 2006 @ 8:09 pm

  20. Steve, I like where you’re going with this. Do you think point 7 could suggest tatoos instead of fabric? It might hurt, but in the long run would be so much cheaper and easier to maintain. Kelly G is freaking out right now.

    Lisa, try this:
    http://www.hanes.com/HanesCommerce/en-US/Products/Product+Detail.htm?CS_ProductID=HCIQ9&CS_Category=Women_Panties_Briefs&CS_Catalog=HanesCatalog&CatalogNavigationBreadCrumbs=HanesCatalog;Women;Women_ByCategory;Women_Panties;Women_Panties_Briefs;Women_Panties_Briefs&CanBuy=True

    I love them SO much.

    Brooke, can you imagine anything worse than John and I trying to sew our own garments? Yikes.

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 14, 2006 @ 8:16 pm

  21. I just tried the Hanes link and it appears their site is down. It’s probably all the Mormons clicking over there… more action than Hanes has seen in a while, I bet.

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 14, 2006 @ 9:02 pm

  22. Based on the product ID, I think you mean this. I’ll have to look into it. The wife might approve. (Or perhaps not – who knows).

    Comment by anon — March 15, 2006 @ 2:20 am

  23. Thanks, anon.Those do look like the ones I bought.

    Comment by scoutmaster — March 15, 2006 @ 8:51 am

  24. Rusty,
    I understand where you’re coming from and respect your opinion. But for me, even the covering is symbolic and can be substituted with a more user friendly alternative without any loss of symbolism. Otherwise, we’d only wear Gs of animal skins to better maintain the symbolism of the first Gs coming from slaughtered animals. Since the whole thing is symbolic, the GAs are free to update things at any time, just as they periodically update Temple procedures and instructions. A temple pendant could even have a depiction of the first animal sacrifice and Adam and Eve departing wearing the skins and the reverse side could be a depiction of Jesus suffering through the real sacrifice that allows us back into G-d’s presence.

    Scoutmaster, personally I’ll pass on the tattoos, but you can bet your bottom dollar some LDS person out there has already done it.

    Comment by Steve EM — March 15, 2006 @ 9:17 am

  25. I wonder if any of you ladies have tried wearing the men’s tops? I like that they don’t have the lace and I’ve seriously been considering it. The symbols are the same, right?

    Also, I’ve always wondered why women get these thin wimpy waitbands and men get a strong stretchy one. If there weren’t the extra ‘bulk’ in front I’d be tempted to try men’s bottoms, too!

    Comment by anony mouse — March 16, 2006 @ 7:55 pm

  26. I just went and looked around the ldscatalog site and saw that they 100% cotton chemise style tops supposedly don’t have any lace on them. Has anyone tried these? I ordered a few to test them out. I’ll let you know what I think

    Comment by anony mouse — March 17, 2006 @ 9:01 pm

  27. Well,
    I have to agree with THE SCOUTMASTER. I have been a faithful G-wearer for over 13 years now, and while I appreciate the improvements that have been made over the past decade, it sure would be nice to see some more.
    The Church is getting so much bigger, and more and more innocent women are being afflicted with the “bunching layer” dilemma. Surely SOMETHING can be done!
    I have a friend from Itlay who is tiny—really tiny. (My seven year old could wear her clothes…and probably her G’s.) This friend swears that European g’s are smaller and more snug fitting than the ones available here. SO—maybe we should all move to Europe.

    Comment by A. CLEMONS — March 18, 2006 @ 10:38 am

  28. I used to complain about garments when I first started wearing them. Yes, shopping can be frustrating. I am going through a very hard time in my marriage. I did not fully appreciate what garments symbolize until now. We are to be in the world and not of it. I think that when we focus on what bothers us it is only magnified. I dress in style. I have to say the hardest thing to find is evening wear that doesn’t look like a grandma. Maby try the bottoms that fit kind of like biker shorts. I wear my tops pretty small and I never have any problems with bunching or them peeking out. I think it is important to focus on the blessing of wearing garments and dressing modestly, rather than how we are restricted.

    Comment by Erica — April 15, 2008 @ 7:48 pm

  29. I’ve more or less been doing nothing to speak of. I’ve just been staying at home waiting for something to happen. Today was a loss. My life’s been really bland today, but so it goes.,

    Comment by name — May 6, 2008 @ 3:22 pm

  30. P7HIWV Hello!,

    Comment by name — August 21, 2008 @ 6:03 pm

  31. Good day!,

    Comment by name — August 31, 2008 @ 8:30 pm

  32. The garments are a blessing. Instead of focusing on the things you hate, focus on the blessings associated with them. Return often to the temple and remember why you wear them in the first place. I just started wearing them and although they are different than regular underwear, I am truly grateful for them.

    Comment by Amy — September 29, 2008 @ 2:23 pm

  33. Garments are the least sexiest, feminine thing on the planet. I get claustrophobic wearing them, not to mention they are UGLY! This may be TMI but women need vaginal support, just like men!, I hate having the crotch sag all the way to my knees! They had to have been designed by men in the 1800′s. No woman in her right mind would EVER design underwear to fit or look like this. I agree, I HATE the lace, it is itchy and ugly. I hate that the waist band gives me muffin top- I dont when I wear normal underwear?? Something needs to be changed. Get rid of the sleeves, if an undershirt is necessary make it camisol! I don’t think my underwear need to hang past my knees. I have also thought that maybe they should only be worn in the temple. It may sound bad of me, but I really despise them and want to scream every time I put them on. I reluctantly wear them which is probably just as bad as not wearing them in the first place.
    We should start a petition to get them re-designed. I think the last time they did so was when the went from longsleeve (to the wrist) and when the used to go down to the ankles.
    I have had this conversation with many faithful members, it is TIME to fix garments!

    Comment by Ashley — September 26, 2009 @ 9:18 pm

Leave a comment

RSS feed for comments on this post.