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Nine Moons » Blog Archive : Thoughts from the third pew, center left » Thoughts from the third pew, center left

Thoughts from the third pew, center left

Susan M - October 29, 2006

She has such great hair. So frizzy and crazy. She must hate it.

I can’t believe she’s already given me a treat. She was probably assigned as my visiting teacher yesterday! I always get the best visiting teachers. And I’m such a bad one. I can’t remember the last visit I made.

Why is it always candy? Or cookies. I hope she doesn’t feel bad when she finds out I’m diabetic.

Sacrament hymn. Time to prepare. Focus on Christ now…Why are the sacrament hymns always the boring ones? I should sing this one. It’s a bad example for the kids when I don’t. One and two and three and four and one and two and three and four and…

Stop counting the beats and sing. I’ll just read the words. The words. Don’t count. Does anyone notice I’m not singing?

One and two and three and four and one and…Just sing. But I can’t sing and count at the same time. One and two and three and four and one and two and three and four and…

I hate that! Why do they always add an extra beat at the end of a verse? It throws me off. I am so autistic sometimes. Stop counting.

One and two and three and four and one and two and…Stop. Just close my eyes.

I’m so tired. I need more sleep.

Wish I could lay down on this pew. It’s so uncomfortable. They should have reclining pews. Just flip a lever and lay back…Or a whole row of easy chairs…Big, comfy, warm, soft, leather easy chairs…

Delirious. I need more sleep.

Time for prayer…Yes, Father. I really need this…Thank you, Father. Amen.

Elijah needs a haircut. Or at least a hair brush. His hair is so wild and poofy. I like it long, though. Such a great color. His shirt is coming untucked in back. Those pants barely fit him now. Careful with the tray! Is he using his right hand? Don’t they know he’s left handed? Why is he always the one to go up on the stand? Don’t forget the Stake President should be first. Father, please help him to do a good job and feel comfortable passing the Sacrament. He takes it so hard if he gets anything wrong.

Now stop watching him. He’ll be fine.

Here’s the bread. I took the smallest piece again. Does it count? It was like a crumb.

Why do I always take the tiniest piece and then worry that it doesn’t count? Of course it counts.

I need more sleep.

I hope the new nursery leaders do OK with the snack. Will they understand little Ethan gets sick if he has any wheat? Gluten intolerance is hard for people to wrap their heads around. I should’ve brought some string cheese just in case. I’m sure his mom will make sure everything’s fine, but…

Who knew it’d be so hard to give up a nursery calling? I hope I can do a good job with the Valiant girls. Two year olds to eleven year olds is a big jump. Father, please bless the new nursery leaders that they’ll do a good job and be able to provide everything that the kids in there will need. Help me to know what to do for the Valiant girls. I pray that I’ll be inspired to know what they need.

Nathaniel’s turn to bless the water. I hope he washed his hands! He just touched all that bread. Father, please help him to do a good job on the prayer. He’s so nervous about messing up…

…bless and sanctify this water…the blood of Thy Son, which was shed for them…do always remember Him…

Amen. Phew. Good job, Nathaniel. Thank you Father.

OK…Christ. I should be focusing on Christ. Where are my scriptures? There. What should I read…What’s the verse I love in Isaiah…somewhere in the 50′s I think? Chapter…oh, yeah, 49.

Can a woman forget her sucking child,
that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?

Of course she can’t. What kind of mother could forget her baby that she’s still breastfeeding? Impossible.

Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands;
thy walls are continually before me.

He has graven me upon the palms of His hands…He always remembers me. Wow.

Why is it so hard for me to remember Him?

9 Comments »

  1. Susan, thank you for such a beautiful, thoughtful post.

    Comment by Rusty — October 29, 2006 @ 2:32 pm

  2. Thank you, indeed.

    Comment by Silus Grok — October 29, 2006 @ 5:11 pm

  3. This was great, Susan. You can’t help but smile when you read it.

    Comment by J. Stapley — October 29, 2006 @ 7:00 pm

  4. Yes, this is wonderful, Susan. It sounds like you got in my head today, were you? My mind wanders just like that.

    And I don’t know how I got to this, honestly, but I started wondering about the sex life of a couple in my ward! Then I asked myself, “how did I get on that subject?” I still don’t remember.

    I have a sick mind. If I’m not wondering how peoples’ sex is, I’m wondering if they could be a serial killer.

    Boy, do I need a spiritual makeover. By the way, I love that scripture. I keep it on my fridge. In a sort of desperate attempt to convince myself that God remembers me.

    Comment by annegb — October 29, 2006 @ 7:03 pm

  5. Thanks. I was worried I’d sound like a completely neurotic mom, but while I think all those things, I never indicate any of it to my kids. This was an account of my Sunday a week ago. Today I could breath easier—neither of my boys were participating in their normal Sacrament duties.

    Annegb I wish you were in my ward.

    Comment by Susan M — October 29, 2006 @ 7:46 pm

  6. Very nicely written.

    Comment by Stephen M (Ethesis) — October 30, 2006 @ 5:27 am

  7. Count with your foot. :)

    Comment by Kim Siever — October 30, 2006 @ 9:05 am

  8. I like the end. I try to read hymns during the sacrament. It helps me focus more. I used to teach all the young men (except the two who moved in last month) who bless and pass the sacrament, so if I don’t read the hymn, I end up watching how well they’re doing their job.

    Comment by Kim Siever — October 30, 2006 @ 9:09 am

  9. I have this thing where if I’m reading the music I have to count the beats. It really drives me crazy sometimes. I need to just learn all the words to all the hymns so I don’t have to read them from the hymnal.

    Comment by Susan M — October 30, 2006 @ 9:11 am

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