One day my boss said to me, “You’re the coolest Mormon I’ve ever met.”
My reply was, “I get that a lot.”
And I think it’s kind of sad. For the record, I’m not cool at all. I’m dorky. (But as my husband, Daniel, likes to say, people who think they’re cool are dorky. People who think they’re dorky are cool. Uh huh.)
But I’m definitely not your typical Mormon (if there is such a thing). I’m guessing a lot of people in the LDS blogging circles aren’t, either.
I note down on my personal blog dorky/funny conversations our family has. Danithew (of LDS blogging fame, not to be confused with Daniel, my husband) told me he thought I should share them with a wider audience, since a lot of them are not what you’d expect an LDS family to talk about. So I decided to compile some of them and let you all in on our dorky/cool (and mostly atypical?) family moments.
My husband came home from work last night and asked me how my day was. I said fine. He said, “OK…but was there any METAL in your day?”
Daniel is really into heavy metal. 80’s-thrash-metal metal. Think Metallica.
A year ago my husband’s employer gave him an iPod for Christmas, and ever since, he’s been on a mission to collect Metal. With a capital M. Metal is much more than just metal in our household.
His iPod is 20 GB, and he’s managed to fill it up with Metal. So much so that he’s had to start culling out the lesser metal to make room for the greater Metal. In his own words:
“Yeah, I have a 20 gig iPod that is full. I keep bumping the lesser metal for new, more-metal metal. Soon I will have the most metal 20 gigs ever.”
My phone rang at work. “Hello.”
Elijah (my 12yo): “Not only was ‘Texas Flood’ Stevie Ray Vaughn’s best album, it was also his first.”
Me: “Hmm. Wow.”
Me: “Is that all?”
Elijah: “Yeah. Bye.”
My daughter Cat, poking her head in my bedroom door: “Mom, what was the first show I ever went to? Like did you go see anything when you were pregnant with me?”
Me, looking up from my book: “You went to see the first Lollapalooza tour when you were a few weeks old. Jane’s Addiction, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Ice T, Violent Femmes, I think.”
Yesterday morning Elijah asked me if I knew how to spell hobalobolous. I said no. So he spelled it for me. I asked what a hobalobolous was. He said it was someone who had to hobble due to a leg injury.
So I emailed him from work yesterday to tell him that I’d spotted a hobalobolous.
When I got home I asked him if he’d gotten my email. He said yeah, it was pretty funny. Especially since I’d spelled hobalobolous wrong.
Elijah came up to me as I was chatting with the owner of the small indie CD store we were in, and said, “If I owned this store, I’d fill it with only Iron Maiden stuff.”
I said, “When you grow up, you’re going to OWN this store!”
He said, “Yeah, and I’d only sell Iron Maiden cds, t shirts, stickers…”
“So you’re going to open an Iron Maiden store.”
Daniel said, “Why don’t you just buy the band? Then you can have them follow you around all day.”
Elijah said, “Yeah! They’d be my background music.”
My daughter dyed her hair black and plans on putting pink streaks in it, too, but we haven’t gotten around to it yet. The first day after dying her hair black she wore all black to school (she normally wears a lot of bright colors, mostly pink or purple), and one of her friends got upset at her for dressing all goth. And called her a poser.
When Daniel heard this, he said, “Did you tell her your parents were goth before she was born? Did you tell her you come from a long line of goths? That your family has been goth FOREVER?”
Daniel gave Elijah a mohawk. He didn’t want to comb it down, though, which is what his school required. He told his dad he’ll look stupid.
“Said the kid with the mohawk to the man with a mullet,” Daniel replied.
We took the kids to a skate competition at the Basic skate pool. The owners were selling the house, so it was probably going to be the last skate competition ever held there. Elijah didn’t want to be there—all the cigarette smoking was bothering him, and we had to get to a movie, so we couldn’t stay for all of the finals. On the way home Elijah was complaining about having to go.
Daniel said, “Yeah, well I had to make you go. Because when you’re my age, you’ll tell someone, ‘When I was a kid, I went to the last skate contest at the Basic Pool,’ and they’ll say, ‘No way!’ And you’ll say, ‘Yeah. My Dad made me go.’”
I once overheard Elijah explaining to his friend how we believe in a pre-existence. He said, “A long time ago we were just spirits. And then—OUR MINDS GOT ERASED.”
So as you can see, our family is really into music, and not adverse to wild hair styles (in addition to the mullet, in the last two years my husband has had a white-boy fro, thanks to a perm, a mohawk, and currently, a buzz cut dyed black—my daughter’s mainly gone for pink streaks but is currently black-haired…with pink streaks). My husband is into skateboarding, bmxing, surfing, snowboarding, etc, and I’m a web developer that’s into doom metal (among lots of other music) and taking pictures at live shows (usually at small bars).
How are you not a “typical” Mormon?
Got any fun family moments to share?