Fun family moments, and atypical Mormons

Susan M - November 26, 2006

One day my boss said to me, “You’re the coolest Mormon I’ve ever met.”

My reply was, “I get that a lot.”

And I think it’s kind of sad. For the record, I’m not cool at all. I’m dorky. (But as my husband, Daniel, likes to say, people who think they’re cool are dorky. People who think they’re dorky are cool. Uh huh.)

But I’m definitely not your typical Mormon (if there is such a thing). I’m guessing a lot of people in the LDS blogging circles aren’t, either.

I note down on my personal blog dorky/funny conversations our family has. Danithew (of LDS blogging fame, not to be confused with Daniel, my husband) told me he thought I should share them with a wider audience, since a lot of them are not what you’d expect an LDS family to talk about. So I decided to compile some of them and let you all in on our dorky/cool (and mostly atypical?) family moments.


My husband came home from work last night and asked me how my day was. I said fine. He said, “OK…but was there any METAL in your day?”

Daniel is really into heavy metal. 80’s-thrash-metal metal. Think Metallica.

A year ago my husband’s employer gave him an iPod for Christmas, and ever since, he’s been on a mission to collect Metal. With a capital M. Metal is much more than just metal in our household.

His iPod is 20 GB, and he’s managed to fill it up with Metal. So much so that he’s had to start culling out the lesser metal to make room for the greater Metal. In his own words:

“Yeah, I have a 20 gig iPod that is full. I keep bumping the lesser metal for new, more-metal metal. Soon I will have the most metal 20 gigs ever.”


My phone rang at work. “Hello.”

Elijah (my 12yo): “Not only was ‘Texas Flood’ Stevie Ray Vaughn’s best album, it was also his first.”

Me: “Hmm. Wow.”

Pause.

Me: “Is that all?”

Elijah: “Yeah. Bye.”

Click.


My daughter Cat, poking her head in my bedroom door: “Mom, what was the first show I ever went to? Like did you go see anything when you were pregnant with me?”

Me, looking up from my book: “You went to see the first Lollapalooza tour when you were a few weeks old. Jane’s Addiction, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Ice T, Violent Femmes, I think.”

Cat: “OK.”

Door shuts.


Yesterday morning Elijah asked me if I knew how to spell hobalobolous. I said no. So he spelled it for me. I asked what a hobalobolous was. He said it was someone who had to hobble due to a leg injury.

So I emailed him from work yesterday to tell him that I’d spotted a hobalobolous.

When I got home I asked him if he’d gotten my email. He said yeah, it was pretty funny. Especially since I’d spelled hobalobolous wrong.


Elijah came up to me as I was chatting with the owner of the small indie CD store we were in, and said, “If I owned this store, I’d fill it with only Iron Maiden stuff.”

I said, “When you grow up, you’re going to OWN this store!”

He said, “Yeah, and I’d only sell Iron Maiden cds, t shirts, stickers…”

“So you’re going to open an Iron Maiden store.”

“Yeah.”

Daniel said, “Why don’t you just buy the band? Then you can have them follow you around all day.”

Elijah said, “Yeah! They’d be my background music.”


My daughter dyed her hair black and plans on putting pink streaks in it, too, but we haven’t gotten around to it yet. The first day after dying her hair black she wore all black to school (she normally wears a lot of bright colors, mostly pink or purple), and one of her friends got upset at her for dressing all goth. And called her a poser.

When Daniel heard this, he said, “Did you tell her your parents were goth before she was born? Did you tell her you come from a long line of goths? That your family has been goth FOREVER?”


Daniel gave Elijah a mohawk. He didn’t want to comb it down, though, which is what his school required. He told his dad he’ll look stupid.

“Said the kid with the mohawk to the man with a mullet,” Daniel replied.


We took the kids to a skate competition at the Basic skate pool. The owners were selling the house, so it was probably going to be the last skate competition ever held there. Elijah didn’t want to be there—all the cigarette smoking was bothering him, and we had to get to a movie, so we couldn’t stay for all of the finals. On the way home Elijah was complaining about having to go.

Daniel said, “Yeah, well I had to make you go. Because when you’re my age, you’ll tell someone, ‘When I was a kid, I went to the last skate contest at the Basic Pool,’ and they’ll say, ‘No way!’ And you’ll say, ‘Yeah. My Dad made me go.’”


I once overheard Elijah explaining to his friend how we believe in a pre-existence. He said, “A long time ago we were just spirits. And then—OUR MINDS GOT ERASED.”


So as you can see, our family is really into music, and not adverse to wild hair styles (in addition to the mullet, in the last two years my husband has had a white-boy fro, thanks to a perm, a mohawk, and currently, a buzz cut dyed black—my daughter’s mainly gone for pink streaks but is currently black-haired…with pink streaks). My husband is into skateboarding, bmxing, surfing, snowboarding, etc, and I’m a web developer that’s into doom metal (among lots of other music) and taking pictures at live shows (usually at small bars).

How are you not a “typical” Mormon?

Got any fun family moments to share?

14 Comments »

  1. Thanks for the smile, Susan. I wish you guys lived in our ward.

    One of the biggest ways that we are not typical is that Bill is the Molly Mormon of our family. Right now he’s cleaning up the kitchen. He’s the one who will never miss church while I could just skip church out of my life altogether and still consider myself an active member.

    I’m the cussing, griping, truck driver husband and he is the Molly Mormon wife.

    Comment by annegb — November 26, 2006 @ 9:33 am

  2. “Our minds were erased” love it. I’m the breadwinner, working from home and DH is the primary caregiver, with no plans to return to work right now – that definitely makes us odd ducks at church…

    Comment by Sue M — November 26, 2006 @ 12:16 pm

  3. I’ve been there, too. My husband is a much better housewife than I am. Right now we’re both working, but we’ve both had turns being the stay-at-home parent.

    Comment by Susan M — November 26, 2006 @ 1:29 pm

  4. I guess I’m pretty typical except for the fact that I’m married to a fairly agnostic lapsed Lutheran vegetarian who lives and breathes experimental noise music (particularly from the Japanese scene). This summer (I mentioned elsewhere) he opened for Boat in San Francisco as CIA Acid Party, and last month he had a noisy gig in Tokyo with his old band Mr. Busaichedelic San. However, like Susan was saying earlier, because I live in a kind of untraditional LDS marriage, I have to be a little more Molly than I would be otherwise. I mean, if I don’t take my kids to church, no one will. If mom doesn’t insist on prayers at bedtime and no iced tea at birthday parties, no one will, etc. etc.

    Comment by meems — November 26, 2006 @ 9:20 pm

  5. Susan, you were my very first blog-friend, and I think I get to be cool just for standing next to you! How lucky and am I that I found you?

    We’re far from typical (whatever that means), too, but I’m ok with that now. The blogs have definately helped me find my own place in Mormonism.

    Comment by Tracy M — November 26, 2006 @ 10:24 pm

  6. I sometimes feel bad when classmates say I’m a different kind of Mormon. Some of them say it’s because I don’t push my beliefs on them, and then I feel like maybe I’m not being a good enough member missionary. Others have mentioned how I’m not a normal Mormon because I’m open minded. That, I don’t mind so much. But it does bother me because that means they buy into the stereotype of Mormons as Evangelicals but weirder. I think Mormons get a bum rap. Sure, there are judgmental, weird, closed minded Mormons, but I don’t think these things characterize our people generally and I don’t think they’re found in our community more than in the general population.

    Comment by Tom — November 26, 2006 @ 11:30 pm

  7. I’m trying really hard to think of some way I’m an atypical Mormon, but you just made me see even more so that I am a VERY typical Mormon.

    Maybe my family members that frequent this site can help me out, but they’re all pretty typical too. (Including Rusty, despite what he may say>:)

    Comment by Bret — November 27, 2006 @ 1:42 am

  8. I guess that’s the main thing that bothers me when people say I’m not a typical Mormon—I don’t think I’m exceptional at all. They just have the wrong idea of what a typical Mormon is.

    Comment by Tom — November 27, 2006 @ 9:01 am

  9. The day Metallica succumbed to iTunes was like Christmas. I sold all my old tapes during the grunge era and have really wanted to pump some “For Whom the Bell Tolls” recently. Besides that, I guess I’m a pretty typical east coast mormon. Though my logic drives people crazy sometimes – I’ll jam out to Metal but have a pretty strict R rated policy.

    Comment by cj douglass — November 27, 2006 @ 10:35 am

  10. CJ,
    Is your policy “no R-rated movies” or “only R-rated movies”?

    Comment by Rusty — November 27, 2006 @ 10:53 am

  11. I don’t watch r-rated movies either CJ. But I also don’t listen to music with much swearing in it. Most of the doom metal I listen to I have no idea what the singers are saying. (Although one band, High on Fire, uses a lot of biblical imagery.)

    I think you’re right, Tom, misconceptions about Mormons are everywhere.

    And if I’m completely honest, I have to admit I’m not really a typical *anything,* I’m pretty much a misfit (in one way or another) in any group.

    Comment by Susan M — November 27, 2006 @ 12:06 pm

  12. I always thought it would be fun to be a Mormon version of Huey Freeman from the Boondocks.

    Unfortunately, I can’t pull off the angry look very well.

    Comment by Seth R. — November 27, 2006 @ 12:16 pm

  13. I’ll never say “no-R-rated movies” but in my own experience, the extra sex, violence or language that makes a movie R is usually unecessary. Some of my favorite flicks are R ( Braveheart, Fight Club etc.) but in the past 5 years have not found it worth the extra garbage. A lot of people see Metal as R rated music and thus the chasm in my logic.

    Comment by cj douglass — November 27, 2006 @ 12:22 pm

  14. Well, as my dad always said about the supposed worthwile material in R rated flicks:

    “If you’ve gotta dig through the poop to find the pearl, at a certain point it just stops being worth it.”

    Comment by Seth R. — November 28, 2006 @ 7:49 pm

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