403 Forbidden

Nine Moons » Blog Archive : Medicinal Beer » Medicinal Beer

Medicinal Beer

Rusty - April 6, 2007

Connor’s post about drinking beer to save your family reminded me of what happened to a friend of mine:

A few years ago my friend had some major pains in his lower abdomen, went to the doctor and discovered that he had kidney stones. At this time my friend was in the bishopric of his SLC ward and his doctor was a friend of his, also a member of the Church. Anyway, the doctor told him there were basically three things he could do. The first option was to just wait around for the stone to pass naturally. This of course could take days and would likely be incredibly painful. The second option was to go to the doctor, take a lot of drugs, pay a couple thousand dollars, get cut open and have the stone removed. The third option was that he could go home that night, drink a six-pack of beer and hopefully pass it that night.

Foster’s was the natural choice of beer considering that my friend is Australian. That night he drank the entire six-pack and passed the stones relatively pain-free. Next morning woke up with a hangover, but had no stitched up holes in his stomach and still had a couple thousand bucks in his pocket (less the $10 for the six-pack of beer).

I guess you could consider the urinary track as part of the body that needs to be washed.


  1. A six-pack of beer gave him a hangover? Lightweight!

    Comment by Susan M — April 6, 2007 @ 8:26 am

  2. What does a six-pack of beer do to a kidney stone that a gallon of water doesn’t?

    Whenever I hear about medical marijuana, I always think of Granny Clampett and her rheumatism medicine, moonshine strictly for medicinal purposes. A couple times that I was put under by anesthesia for surgery, the thought came that there are a lot of aspects of life that I wouldn’t mind being passed out while they happen.

    Comment by John Mansfield — April 6, 2007 @ 8:58 am

  3. The JS getting his leg cut off w/o any alcohol story always baffles me. I want to know how its different from my wife getting an epaderal during her pregnancy or any circumstance needing anastasia. The lines between substance abuse and medical treatment are so skewed in todays world that it comes down to personal revelation and choice. The WoW is a wonderful guideline but was intended to be a just that. Congrats to your friend for allowing some “modern medicine” relieve him of pain and money.

    Comment by cj douglass — April 6, 2007 @ 9:17 am

  4. What does a six-pack of beer do to a kidney stone that a gallon of water doesn’t?

    John, I think it does exactly what you say, though he might not have passed out he was probably drunk or numb or whatever alcohol would do to him to ease the pain.

    Are you suggesting that you take cough syrup when you have a cough? You covenant-breaker!

    Comment by Rusty — April 6, 2007 @ 9:29 am

  5. It is funny how we tell the refusal of liquor story during surgery, but we omit the drinking of liquor the night before martyrdom.

    I’ve heard a lot of speculation as to why Joseph refused a drink before that surgery, but WoW compliance is simply anachronistic.

    Comment by J. Stapley — April 6, 2007 @ 10:01 am

  6. If I remember correctly, he was a young boy….so the WoW didn’t exist obviously. And just to be clear by “baffled” I meant that it doesn’t make sense to me or in other words, what was he thinking?!?

    Comment by cj douglass — April 6, 2007 @ 10:35 am

  7. I took some painkillers my third labor/delivery and all it did was make me loopy—didn’t kill the pain. It sucked. I need to be able to concentrate to get through pain. Not feel like the room is spinning.

    Comment by Susan M — April 6, 2007 @ 11:21 am

  8. I don’t know if he still does this, but just a few years back my Dad was regularly using beer in a special enema concoction. No joke. My dad’s big on bowel cleanliness as a foundation for good health.

    Some of us kids had a good laugh wondering if the alcohol could be absorbed through the colon. And we had one of those historic eruptions of laughter when I said that I had been wondering why his farts had become slurred lately.

    Comment by Tom — April 6, 2007 @ 12:37 pm

  9. Tom,

    That’s more than we needed to know. But yes, alcohol can be absorbed thru the colon, depends on how long it remains there and most enemas cause the contents to be flushed out, not remain.

    My father used coffee semi-regularly. He had a swallowing condition and taking a little coffee allowed him to swallow his food. He held a temple recommend during this time as well.

    Comment by Don Clifton — April 6, 2007 @ 3:56 pm

  10. Medicine is different. I agree that the beer was a good treatment for the kidney stone. My brother in law’s doctor gave him the same advice. (He’s Presbyterian, though, so has no WoW issues.)

    I sometimes take Excedrine Migraine, though the caffeine in it keeps me awake really late, then makes me feel horrible the next day. I am reluctant to take it because of those unpleasant side effects, but there are times when it’s the best option for a bad headache. Even though I interpret the WoW to mean no caffeine now, and I quit drinking regular diet coke for good, I still believe in using caffeine as a drug when appropriate. (It’s an exceedingly powerful one, as it turns out! I can’t believe most people in our culture give it routinely to kids for no medical reason at all!)

    I do think applying the WoW to drugs taken to alleviate illness is a mistake.

    Comment by Tatiana — April 6, 2007 @ 7:11 pm

  11. Don, I had prefaced my comment with “gross-out warning!” but then I erased it because it was prissy. I admit that it was TMI. But what can you do? It’s too funny not to mention it in a medicinal beer thread.

    Besides, I’ve always thought that, to paraphrase the Joker, “Nine Moons needs an enema!”

    Comment by Tom — April 6, 2007 @ 8:05 pm

  12. Alcoholic enemas were in the new a few years ago when some celebrities (Dennis Rodman?) were taking “shots” via… ahem. You can still probably find it via google. Research how Marilyn Monroe was supposed to have been killed.

    Anyways, yes, alcohol absorbs very quickly into the body via the colon, much quicker than through the stomach. The colon is one big mucous membrane through which chemicals can pass.

    It’s an osmosis and law of equal pressures/concentrations thing. Water will travel one way through the membrane and chemicals will travel the other way until the concentrations equal out.

    Comment by anon — April 7, 2007 @ 4:07 pm

Leave a comment

RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI