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Bumper-sticker Combo Meal

Seth - April 12, 2007

Out driving yesterday I pulled up behind a beat-up hatchback (it’s always a beat-up hatchback for some reason) plastered with several bumper stickers. I’m not really a big fan of bumper stickers and tend to regard them as rather gauche. But that doesn’t mean I’m above reading them – and I suppose they do have a certain countercultural charm (as long as it isn’t “My Child is an Honor Student at Bull Connor Elementary….”).

Anyway, first sticker read

“Don’t Believe Everything You Think.”

Huh. Kinda neat… I’ll have to remember that one for when I want to be cute at a dinner party…

“Don’t blame me. I voted for Gore.”

Heh, heh. Well, yeah… I’ve been feeling the same way myself for several years now…

Then the other shoe drops:

“Christianity – Raping, Pillaging and Murdering since circa 0032.”


Why do these people always come as a package deal?

And why does being a Democrat lately remind me of purchasing cable TV?


  1. My funny bumper sticker story happened a few years ago. I was driving on the freeway in San Jose, CA. I saw an enormous SUV, like a Ford Excursion or something of smilar size, and it was plastered with environmentalist bumper stickers. Somehow, I think they missed the point.

    Comment by Keri — April 12, 2007 @ 10:07 pm

  2. I’ve heard of “smart mobs” going out and plastering unsuspecting SUV’s with environmentalist stickers……maybe you saw a victim.

    Comment by cj douglass — April 12, 2007 @ 11:54 pm

  3. Best bumper sticker I’ve ever seen (and I know I mentioned this somewhere else) “Nice Hummer. Sorry about the penis.”

    Comment by Rusty — April 13, 2007 @ 6:44 am

  4. I like bumper stickers because they give me something to read while I’m driving.

    And just wait until your kid comes home with one of those honor student stickers. You can’t NOT put it on the car. (My son would’ve been very let down.)

    Comment by Susan M — April 13, 2007 @ 8:00 am

  5. Bumper stickers always seem to have a bit of truth in them. The “Christianity – Raping, Pillaging and Murdering since circa 0032.” sticker Seth quoted is that same way. As bad as it may seem, it’s true. More “bad” has be had in the name of God than for all other “causes” put together.

    If I were to make a bumper sticker it would say “God gets more credit and more blame than He deserves.”

    Comment by Don Clifton — April 13, 2007 @ 11:06 am

  6. One I remember, and yes it was on a worn hatchback, was something like “What a wonderful day it will be when the schools are fully funded and the defense deparment has to hold bake sales to buy bombers.” This was funny because I had not many years before read Wole Soyinka‘s Isara: A Voyage Around Essay. (A great book; I also highly recommend his Ake: The Years of Childhood.) Essay was Soyinka’s name for his father, the headmaster of a school in Nigeria. One event in the book is when Essay and other community leaders complete a successful fundraiser to buy a fighter for the RAF. So that bumper sticker was unknowingly longing for World War II.

    Comment by John Mansfield — April 13, 2007 @ 12:00 pm

  7. Don- What people do in the name of Christianity is not Christianity itself. I am unaware of any religion that has ever behaved in any way, good or bad. It is the people following the religion that commit terrible acts.

    If you say “Christians- Raping, Pillaging and Murdering since circa 0032.”

    THEN it is true.

    Comment by Hoopla — April 13, 2007 @ 1:14 pm

  8. Susan, life is full of disappointments. With therapy, I’m sure your son will learn to forgive you.

    Don, nice idea. I like it.

    My main gripe I guess is that being a liberal is expected to be a package deal. If you believe in funding government programs, you must automatically also denounce “all that God stuff.” When did both our political offerings get hijacked with all this nonsense.

    Can I please just buy the damn Big Mac without the Biggie Fries and quart of Mr Frizz?

    Comment by Seth R. — April 13, 2007 @ 1:29 pm

  9. Yeah, I sure get tired of Christianity getting blamed for all the evil in the world. Especially cosidering raping, pillaging and murdering has been done in the name of most all religions at one time or another. We just hear so much about Christianity because 1) It’s OUR culture 2) There more written history in western culture then anywhere else and 3) the western/Christian culture happens to be the one that has influenced/”taken over” the world more than any other.

    Comment by Bret — April 13, 2007 @ 1:35 pm

  10. Bret, you’re right, but most of that take over of the world was done by raping, pillaging and murdering in the name of bringing Christianity to the people.

    Comment by Don Clifton — April 13, 2007 @ 3:40 pm

  11. Hoopla, I think you’re splitting hairs. Of course no religion of itself does anything…it’s the people who do it. There’s no christianity with out people. If God had no children, then there’d be no us, or Christ so no need of a religion.

    Check out the Old Testament and see what God’s people did! Check out the New Testament and read what Christ says about taking up the sword, and what accepting Him will do.

    Comment by Don Clifton — April 13, 2007 @ 3:43 pm

  12. My all-time favorite: “Give Us The Right To Arm Bears”

    Comment by J. Michael — April 15, 2007 @ 3:33 am

  13. saw another christian related bumper sticker last week: “Jesus, save me from your followers”

    Comment by cj douglass — April 15, 2007 @ 8:21 pm

  14. Don #5 – May I suggest a slight adjustment to your suggested bumper sticker – “God gets too little credit and more blame than he deserves.” It seems to me, or at least it is my experience that I find myself in a troubled spot and eventually I pray for help. Then when things work out I usually think to myself, “Aren’t I a clever fellow?” It is usually some time later (often weeks or months) that I get around to acknowledging God’s hand in solving my problem. At the same time, how many of us (and I’m speaking of the collective human race, not necessarily those of us who try to follow God’s teachings) see great tragedy in the world and ask “How can a loving God let this happen” when we know that it is because he loves us that he let’s it happen.

    Comment by Lamonte — April 16, 2007 @ 4:29 am

  15. Nah Lamonte,

    Not edgey enough.

    Comment by Seth R. — April 16, 2007 @ 9:39 am

  16. I laughed really hard when I say “What would Scooby Do?”

    Comment by fMhLisa — April 16, 2007 @ 2:47 pm

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