As I’ve grown older and wiser and more like Jesus there is one thing that I’ve learned: everything in this world revolves around women.
For instance, did you know that the reason the United States dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima was because our country hates women? No, I’m serious! And the Columbine shooters? Women haters. In fact, I just realized why I was always so bad at home teaching: I used to hate women. (You should see my numbers now that I love women!)
I mean it’s pretty obvious that everything that’s bad comes as a result of misogyny. Which makes sense, of course, when you consider that the Emancipation Proclamation, the fall of the Berlin Wall and Handel’s Messiah were all results of the love of women.
And just so you know, if you don’t agree with me you’re perpetuating the problem. If you even suggest that a woman might at some point in some instance perhaps, might overreact a teensy bit, well, all you’re doing is empowering the women-haters (which, of course means that you hate women). In other words, there are two paths, what I say and what the women-haters say, take your pick.
And if you’re a man and you don’t agree with me…well, you just don’t know what it’s like to be a woman so basically you need to shut up.