Tired & Grateful

Rusty - December 11, 2004

I’m tired.

I’m sitting here at my desk (where I’ve been for the last 18 hours) getting ready to finally go to bed. I’ve been working through this proposal book for my thesis (which is basically everything that I’ve done all semester compiled into a book) and it’s due on Tuesday. I’ve been getting little sleep (going to bed at 2:00, getting up at 6:00 for seminary), am overloaded at work, and have to skip class to be able to have time to do anything on this book. At times I feel like I’m getting stupider and stupider (at times I think I have Alzheimer’s disease, my mind just goes blank), I forgot my mom’s (and sister’s) birthdays, and I increasingly have issues with the owner of the company I work for. My wife hates her job and her daily 3-hour commute. I can’t even sit down with my wife to enjoy dinner together because I have to get this thing done. I’m not even thinking about Christmas, not until Tuesday night. Frankly, I’m not even thinking about anything that’s not my thesis. All of this while we are renovating our kitchen (which means everything is out in our front room of our tiny New York City apartment and driving us mad).

Yet, I can’t help but be grateful. I mean, every trial that I mentioned is just a result of a choice that I and/or my wife made in the past. I chose to go to grad school, I chose to renovate in our small apartment, my wife chose to work at a crappy job that makes pretty good money, I chose to accept the calling as seminary teacher, I chose to work for the company that I do, and I chose to put off this stupid project till the last week. All of those things are good things. I’m not too happy about the getting stupider part and I feel really bad about forgetting birthdays, but the for the most part, life is good. I can only be grateful for the blessings the Lord has given us.

Okay, time for a few hours of sleep.

1 Comment »

  1. Rusty, dare I ask what the subject of your thesis is?
    Ronan | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 8:53 am | #

    Ronan,
    It has to do with increasing high school kids’ exposure to multiple perspectives on issues they currently face and will face in the future.
    Rusty | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 10:52 am | #

    Sounds cool. Good luck.
    Ronan | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 2:29 pm | #

    I hope you can send a copy of that to me. I’d of course like to read it (and maybe use it as a future reference for my own thesis one day on whatever that may be).

    Funny but I was thinking of the same things this week as I get ready to finish finals. It’s been a pretty rotten semester mostly, although a relatively easy one. However, I chose to do my schedule the way I did, I chose my Minor to be music and thus have to take these painful classes and I chose to live where I do with the people I do (Who, don’t get me wrong, I love and enjoy, but can be a trial, too). I’m just grateful as you are for everything I have, I’ve learned and gained. Plus I’m grateful I’m not in YOUR predicament!>8p
    Bret | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 2:37 pm | #

    Rusty, would you say that in plain english for the rest of us!
    Don | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 2:45 pm | #

    What’s wrong Don? Seems the rest of us had no problem understanding it!>8P
    Bret | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 – 11:21 pm | #

    Bret, you’re a punk — you just like getting away with calling your father “Don.” !!
    Amy | Email | Homepage | 12.12.04 – 12:26 am | #

    Rusty,

    Thanks for reminding us all that we really don’t have much to complain about. Well, it sure feels like we do sometimes (uh, that was ME this last week…) but when we stop and take a step back, we can see how many amazing ways God really blesses us.
    Amy | Email | Homepage | 12.12.04 – 12:29 am | #

    One more comment for Rusty: don’t forget it’s my birthday this Wednesday! Ha ha!
    Amy | Email | Homepage | 12.12.04 – 12:31 am | #

    This too shall pass. All’s well that ends well. Panic plus time equals humor. There is generally a light at the end of the tunnel. Have a merry and relaxing Christmas!
    Dave | Email | Homepage | 12.12.04 – 11:43 am | #

    Good luck man! You’ll do fine…
    Steve Evans | Email | Homepage | 12.12.04 – 10:35 pm | #

    Sounds familiar Rusty–hang in there. I just got done with finals, and had to let every other aspect of my life get way out of balance for about a month in order to be prepared for exams. I ranted about it here: http://probative.blogspot.com/20…2/hump- day.html

    As Elder Bednar has said, balance is a myth. The trick is to realize that one aspect of our lives will always be in need of more attention, and to effectively shift our focus. Getting your thesis proposal done is a worthy end, and justifies the temporary sacrifices you have made. Just make sure that such a lopsidedness is indeed temporary.
    Ian | Email | Homepage | 12.15.04 – 8:03 pm | #

    Russ..I forgive you for forgetting my birthday…no prob. Your life is kinda crazy right now. No big deal. We’ll catch up another time. No hard feelings…really. I love you and want you to be successful. And even though you may not feel it at times, you’ve made the right choice and I’m proud of you.
    Angela | Email | Homepage | 12.16.04 – 5:50 pm | #

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