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Nine Moons » Blog Archive : No Matter Which Way You Slice It, I’m A Jerk » No Matter Which Way You Slice It, I’m A Jerk

No Matter Which Way You Slice It, I’m A Jerk

Rusty - July 9, 2007


  1. This post was inspired by what just happened to me 30 minutes ago on my way home from work. I saw the woman, started to get up and then took a second look and realized that she might not be pregnant. Not wanting to offend I looked around as if I saw someone I knew and then sat back down. Immediately the woman next to me got up and gave the pregnant woman her seat.


    I still don’t know if she was pregnant.

    (this post was also to try out PollDaddy)

    Comment by Rusty — July 9, 2007 @ 4:41 pm

  2. Just give your seat but don’t say it’s because you thought she was pregnant but because you’re a gentleman and she’s a woman. Worse case is she’s a feminist and calls you misogynist who thinks all women are weak. Then you could simply say, “not so, I’d hope you’d return the favor and offer me a set when I come in and you’d been riding. You know, like they taught about sharing in nursery?”


    Comment by Clark Goble — July 9, 2007 @ 5:09 pm

  3. i’m confused? why did the woman have to be possibly pregnant before you gave your seat to her? are you female also?

    Comment by garry — July 9, 2007 @ 5:10 pm

  4. I see no evidence that you’re a jerk. You’re a nice guy. People who take offense at kindness are jerks.

    Comment by E — July 9, 2007 @ 5:16 pm

  5. Clark,
    I never said anything to her but it was pretty obvious by the way that I stood up and looked at her that it was because I thought she was pregnant. But she’d be right in thinking that I’m a misogynist (seriously, how can you not hate women?)

    Because if I gave up my seat for any standing woman then I would literally never sit down on the subway. Besides, women here have been liberated and lost their right to sit.

    Comment by Rusty — July 9, 2007 @ 5:18 pm

  6. E,
    Thanks! Just don’t read #5.

    Comment by Rusty — July 9, 2007 @ 5:19 pm

  7. Rusty, you’re not a misogynist jerk, you’re a violent misogynist jerk. Just accept it already.

    Comment by Eric Russell — July 9, 2007 @ 5:58 pm

  8. Go ahead and offer your seat to a pregnant woman. If she turns out not to be pregnant, you can always pretend you’re a male chauvinist pig.

    Comment by Bored in Vernal — July 9, 2007 @ 6:26 pm

  9. …you can always pretend you’re a male chauvinist pig.


    Rusty doesn’t need to pretend. I’m surprised he didn’t start talking about first base, second base, and third base with the women around him.


    Your benevolent sexism does not fool us.

    Comment by Mark IV — July 9, 2007 @ 8:40 pm

  10. HaHa! Benevolent sexism… :)

    If I was pregnant and a man didn’t give up his seat, I do think I’d be offended. However, a nice man once tried to stop me from carrying something when I was almost 9 months pregnant and I snapped at him because I wanted to “go into labor.” So, honestly, Rusty, your title is RIGHT ON. When it comes to pregnant women, either way, you lose…

    Comment by cheryl — July 9, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

  11. It’s OK to extend a kindness to a fat woman too. She’ll be glad to take the load off her feet.

    Comment by John Mansfield — July 10, 2007 @ 6:19 am

  12. FWIW, when my wife was pregnant, she was exhausted and, as a general rule, only women got up on the subway to let her sit down. I understand that, if Rusty or I were to stand up for every woman on the subway, we’d never sit (so some days I do and some I don’t), but because of my wife’s exhaustion, even if it’s not clear whether she’s pregnant or fat, I err on the side of violently benevolent (or benevolently violent?) misogynism and stand up for the fat lady.

    Comment by Sam B. — July 10, 2007 @ 7:12 am

  13. My rule of thumb.

    Unless I know a woman really well I do not discuss her pregnancy with her unless she brings it up.

    The topic is way to sensitive

    Comment by bbell — July 10, 2007 @ 8:25 am

  14. right, next time just tell them, “i always give up my seat to fat people.”

    then they will have no doudt that you are a nice mannerly person.

    Comment by garry — July 10, 2007 @ 8:36 am

  15. or if you have a question in your mind, just ask, “are you pregnant or just fat”?

    Comment by garry — July 10, 2007 @ 8:38 am

  16. Just look at her apologetically and say “If you were pregnant I would give you my seat. Sorry.” Then she can correct you if you were errr…right.

    Comment by cantinflas — July 10, 2007 @ 9:46 am

  17. Under most circumstances I’d give my wife my seat…beyond that women have earned the right to stand.

    Comment by Don Clifton — July 10, 2007 @ 10:53 am

  18. Chivalry is dead.

    Comment by Seth R. — July 10, 2007 @ 10:55 am

  19. And people don’t tie their neckties properly either.

    Comment by Seth R. — July 10, 2007 @ 10:55 am

  20. clark goble and cheryl are right-on.

    i once took a flight when i was obviously seven months pregnant. i had my carry-on luggage over my shoulder, a 15 month old on my hip, and i was lugging her enormous carseat over my head. every. single. passenger. sat and either stared at me or ignored me as i tried squeezing down the narrow aisle to my seat in the 21st row. i was so disappointed.

    Comment by makakona — July 11, 2007 @ 1:01 pm

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