Independent And Successful Single Women’s Biggest Problem Isn’t That They’re Independent or Successful
I often hear women complain that single LDS men are “afraid” of independent, successful women. This reminds me of when I was in high school and thought that the only reason chicks didn’t dig me was because I had zits. I know, can you believe the shallowness of all those girls to overlook my otherwise perfect body, my dashing butt-cut hairstyle, my immaculate record of integrity (with a perfect measure of bad-assness), impeccably-timed humor, Jordan-like agility on the basketball court, genius intellect and Clooney-like confidence?
In all my years of dating and discussing girls/chicks/women with my friends/buddies/roommates I never once heard one of them say, “She was totally hot, super-strong testimony, hilarious, we totally got along but she’s just too smart.” or “We were laughing the whole time but I realized I could never be with someone who went on a mission.”
I may be going out on a limb and will perhaps sound a bit un-PC here but can I suggest you might actually have other shortcomings? (this reminds me of the answer we all give to the job interview question, “what are your greatest weaknesses?” and the response is always “I’m a perfectionist” or “I work too hard.”)
Maybe a list will do:
- You’re insincere.
- You watch Everybody Loves Raymond
- You never flirt.
- You have a dolphin tattoo
- You are not attractive.
- You don’t like sports.
- You say negative things about others.
- You don’t play Worlds of Warcraft
- You’re too concerned with how you look.
- You have red hair
- You’re from Arkansas
- You’re more cocky than confident
- You don’t get sarcasm
- You drive a Pontiac
- You flirt with everyone
- Your roommates laugh at me
- You don’t get along with children
- You are always a downer in Gospel Doctrine class
- You’re not concerned enough with how you look.
- You say stuff like “Divine Sisterhood”
- You eat your peas one at a time
In other words, it could be ANY ONE OF THESE THINGS! I’m not saying these are all good reasons to avoid dating you, but they are certainly reasons other than “too independent/successful”. Yeah, guys are jerks, but women certainly aren’t immune to such shallowness. (too…many…stories…to…share…)
When I was on my mission I wrote a female friend who had it all. Beauty, personality, intelligence, her own furniture. When I got home I immediately went out with her. Nothing. She was clearly interested in me but I couldn’t figure out why I had no desire to pursue the relationship. Then I figured it out: she didn’t get my humor/sarcasm. Not that anyone is required to laugh at my lame jokes or sarcastic quips but there was no way I was going to spend any substantial amount of time with someone who didn’t appreciate that part of my personality. And it wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t my fault, it just was.
Until recently I hadn’t thought about the possibility of her going to her (pre-blog) friends and complaining that I didn’t pursue her because I was intimidated by her success and independence. Whatever she needs to say, I guess.