Since I’m apparently an expert (perhaps), here’s my advice:
- Listen to music only bored suburban 14yos with personality disorders would listen to, and be vocal about it.
- Go to lots of bars. Not to drink or socialize, but to see bands only bored suburban 14…wait, they can’t go to bars. To see bands only 21 yo scenesters or 40 yo unshaven men who still wear Black Sabbath t-shirts would go see.
- It helps if you have an auditory processing disorder, slight obsessive compulsive disorder, and other autistic traits.
- Take lots of pictures. Post them all over the internet.
- Disagree with just about any opinion anyone has, constantly.
- Never take yourself seriously.
To be honest, I often get told “you’re the coolest Mormon I’ve ever met,” from people who are not church members. (No offense, but surely you all must realize that’s not really saying very much.) I don’t usually get it from church members, however. (Because I’m not cool. Seriously.)
It doesn’t really make me feel cool. If anything it makes me feel dorky. I mean, dorkier.
So who’s the coolest Mormon you’ve ever met?
I think for me it’s the missionary who would sing and play piano at the same time. The guy should’ve been playing to stadiums. Or maybe a Vegas crowd.
Or the missionary who carried a ukelele everywhere he went and would sing hymns on it.
P.S. I wonder if Joseph Addison realizes his list reveals a lot about who he is. Maybe even moreso than it reveals anything about the people on it.