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Nine Moons » Blog Archive : If God Were a Woman… » If God Were a Woman…

If God Were a Woman…

David - September 29, 2008

I’d definitely be going to hell, but I won’t know why.

How about your thoughts?

If God were a woman…

 

26 Comments »

  1. Um, She is.

    Seriously, is this a trick question?

    Comment by Steve Evans — September 29, 2008 @ 11:33 am

  2. There’s no right answer to this one. Really.

    Comment by Yet Another John — September 29, 2008 @ 12:24 pm

  3. She is…. we have a heavenly mother and a heavenly father.

    Comment by berrykat — September 29, 2008 @ 12:27 pm

  4. Ha. Ha.

    I got it. :)

    Steve-
    Actually, it could be argued that a woman is a God, not the other way around.

    Comment by cheryl — September 29, 2008 @ 12:34 pm

  5. The Bible would be a lot longer.

    Comment by Brian — September 29, 2008 @ 1:05 pm

  6. We’d have a lot more commandments

    Comment by Don — September 29, 2008 @ 2:23 pm

  7. She would talk directly to us a whole lot more. And she’d keep talking and talking and talking and talking and….

    Comment by sam — September 29, 2008 @ 2:31 pm

  8. Tablecloths and centerpieces would be an Article of Faith.

    Comment by Yet Another John — September 29, 2008 @ 2:32 pm

  9. Is this for real?

    Comment by MCQ — September 29, 2008 @ 2:35 pm

  10. MCQ, that’s my question. I am having a hard time with this one.

    Comment by Steve Evans — September 29, 2008 @ 2:51 pm

  11. Added to the interview questions would be, “Do you tell your wife what you are thinking both day and night?”

    Comment by David T. — September 29, 2008 @ 3:01 pm

  12. What kind of women do you hang out with anyway?

    In my imagination, where godly women exist (at least in my present consciousness), such behavior would be impossible.

    Comment by Mommie Dearest — September 29, 2008 @ 3:22 pm

  13. …we’d be expected to understand and keep all the commandments without actually being told any of them.

    Comment by Bret — September 29, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

  14. …those who showed total disdain for the commandments would go to heaven whereas us nice guys would get the “terrestial shoulder.”

    Comment by the teenage version of BrianJ — September 29, 2008 @ 5:13 pm

  15. God is a woman. What kind of Mormon asks a question like that?

    Comment by E — September 29, 2008 @ 5:35 pm

  16. …men would have babies and PMS and womenopause and we’d get all the power tools.

    Comment by xoxoxoxo — September 29, 2008 @ 8:42 pm

  17. Ick.

    Comment by Norbert — September 30, 2008 @ 5:35 am

  18. Yeah. Ummm…this was funny at the onset, but now I’m just offended.

    Not funny anymore.

    Comment by cheryl — September 30, 2008 @ 6:01 am

  19. No, Cheryl, you’re supposed to start your comment with “She would say…”

    The rest is dead-on.. great job!

    Comment by Ryan — September 30, 2008 @ 9:27 am

  20. It would read, ” I the lord will say I forgive you but not mean it, but of you it is required to never get offended.”

    my favorite was “nice guys get the ‘telestial shoulder’.”

    Comment by TrevorM — September 30, 2008 @ 11:33 am

  21. Seriously? Are you daft? Are you a Mormon?

    Comment by tracy m — September 30, 2008 @ 11:35 am

  22. Ryan-
    You are so lucky I have a sense of humor. So lucky!

    Comment by cheryl — September 30, 2008 @ 12:09 pm

  23. Can you say Heavenly Mother…She is a God too with Heavenly Father. Just like when you (guys) hope to become a God, your wife will be a God also… Yeah nuff said.

    Comment by Mat — September 30, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

  24. Forgiveness for sin will come, but it will take a long time…

    Comment by Karl Kategianes — October 2, 2008 @ 4:34 pm

  25. [...] Arben Fox comment #54 DKL comment #36 TStevens comment #18 Ryan comment #19 DKL speaking to a troll comment #170 and comment #182 Steve Evans comment #994 on “Police Beat [...]

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